Yes, I STILL Have a Concussion

Yes, I STILL Have a Concussion

7 months without relief.
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Hi, I'm Kelsey Hoffman and I have had a concussion for 29 weeks. It will be 7 months on the 4th of April. Do I enjoy it? No, not particularly. Do I appreciate when people ask me how it is going? Yes, of course. Does it annoy me when people say, "You still have a concussion?" I'm not going to lie, it does a little bit. It is just the way the question is articulated sometimes. It is not my fault that I still have this daily struggle. I cannot control my head nor my symptoms. It is a discouraging reminder that I might not be able to compete competitively in athletics ever again. It reminds me that I still have a lingering problem that I cannot seem to get rid of.

The doctors tell me that I could have daily headaches for the rest of my life. I took all the precautions and followed all the rules and it still didn't help. I sat in dark rooms, stayed off my phone, and went on the computer for 15 minutes at a time. I took my medication and drank tons of water. In the beginning I didn't work out and I stayed away from driving at night due to bright lights and I never stood next to speakers at the soccer games because the music was too loud. I wore sunglasses and a hat everywhere to protect me from the light. I got a lot of weird looks because I was sensitive to light for the first few months.

My phone is always on a very low brightness as well as my laptop. Sometimes, even now, I find that I need to wear sunglasses inside because of the lights. In my room I keep on the lamp and do not enjoy turing on the florescent lights and sometimes I even just sit in the dark. I take every opportunity to try and make the days better, but sometimes it does not matter. I lost consciousness I had major headaches and other crazy symptoms for many months. I didn't expect it to get better in a week.

Yes, having a concussion for 7 months is crazy for some people to understand. The head is such a complex part of the body there is still so much that doctor's do not know. My neurologist can only help me with trying out different medication to hopefully manage my symptoms. I have to be patient with it and not rush into doing a lot when I have a good day, it only makes the next worse. I may have these symptoms for the rest of my life, we do not have a timeline there are so many unanswered questions. With each passing day I lose hope of playing soccer for my senior year of college, I lose hope that I will ever be able to run again without problems. I am trying not to give up hope, but it is difficult when time is passing by and I am still stuck.

So yes, I STILL have a concussion. Just be mindful of how you word things and react, it might just be hurting someone and you didn't even know.

Cover Image Credit: Magic 4 Walls

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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Hey Girl, Grace Speaks Louder Than Your False Humility So Stop Saying You're Not Enough

"Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect" - Demi Lovato

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The amount of times I've said the words "not good enough" in the last week is appalling.

I'm not a good enough daughter or sister.

I'm not a good enough friend or leader.

I'm not a good enough worker.

I'm just not good enough.

No matter how far ahead I was in one area, I was falling behind in everything else. And if you're a perfectionist like me or at least you used to be, you've had one of those weeks before.

A week of beating yourself up for not being good enough. If you've said it enough times, you actually start to feel it. The unworthiness you've proclaimed over yourself just by repeating the words "not enough" over and over.

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A.J. Swoboda and Ken Wytsma "We eventually become our words. We not only become the words we believe about God, but we also become the words spoken over us by ourselves, others, and society."

When God spoke creation into existence, He called it good. But then we perfectionists go and undermine what God has already defined well when we say, "Um, no, not good enough." That's when our words about ourselves become the words we believe about God.

When we go and say "not good enough," we say that our opinions matter more than our own Creator. We .limit the power God has to speak creation into existence. This right here is where we meet pride as it continues to build walls around us just so that it can give us a false sense of humility.

Next, if it's true that we tend to become what we are called, the words we say about ourselves impact the way live and behave. Say you're "not good enough" enough times and you'll soon be bearers of those words, feeling unworthy to accept the grace that God has for us. Our words were never supposed to be more important than His Word but our pride has made it so.

Pride rejects grace over and over again.

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with developing your character and watching you grow. But if your words are only to criticize and shame yourself, that's not the right character your building.

Correction should always be from love and grace and that's not found in the words "not good enough."

So, enough is enough! Ladies, we need to stop being so darn on ourselves.

We need to draw near to God and let him tear down our walls of pride and false humility so that we can accept the grace that he gives us even when we feel we're at our lowest.

Grace says we're His daughters and we're sisters in Christ.

Grace says the He is our best friend and He's shaping us into leaders just like Him.

Grace says we're free from captivity.

Grace says we are a new creation and that we are made good.

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