Something terrible has happened. Someone you loved dearly passed away, your significant other broke up with you, you didn't make the team, you name it. You are in class or at work, trying to put up a front and look normal, but it is so hard. The people around you are all enjoying their lives as always, as if nothing has changed from the day before. They laugh, smile and carry on as they always do. For them, nothing is out of the ordinary, but for you, the world has come to a screeching halt.
You may feel a slight burn of envy or hatred toward these people, especially if they know of your loss and choose not to sympathize. You wisely choose not to act on this hatred because you know it is undeserved, but you cannot let it go at this moment. You try to think differently but only manage to find new ways to continue to be miserable and unhappy for the time being. What is your next move?
In your current neutral state, you may write the whole situation off and say that you would be strong and get over it quickly. Wouldn't it be nice if it really were that easy? The reality is that our strongest emotions come from a sudden change in our lives, for better or for worse. In these cases, obviously for worse.
So what can you do?
1. Avoid taking immediate, emotion-driven action
Making decisions based on current extreme emotion can yield disastrous results. Do not surrender to the day. It is infinitely easier to make a mess than to clean one up.
2. Reach out
While you may need to hold your composure around strangers, it is not in your best interest to ever try and take on the world on your own, most definitely not in your current state. Having someone who will do no more than listen is infinitely better than allowing your mind to tear itself apart alone.
3. Don't release your rage on friends or loved ones
The first venting sources you will automatically search for are the people who will allow you to take out your negative emotions on them. This by no means indicates that they deserve this punishment. See beyond the knee-jerk reaction and save yourself the guilt you would feel when your pain is gone.
4. Read your own positive notes
Take a second to remind yourself that you were, at one point, possibly just a few hours ago, doing just fine. Try and imagine what you would do if you were still in that mode.
5. Take your time
You are not ever going to be in complete control of your own healing. Do not remove the brace too early and allow the fracture to worsen. Do not feel ashamed if it takes time to get back up to speed.
6. Stay the course
Keep working on your goals. They will provide consistency in a chaotic state. You will thank your previously suffering self when you reach the finish line.
The world is unfair sometimes. Reality can bite. Remember that you still write your story.
