I was a shy kid. The first day of kindergarten, I was the kid clinging to their parent's clothing. I was always the kid sitting in the corner of the class. Carefully, purposefully, not rocking the boat. While my mind was teeming with opinions and observations and random bad jokes, I would never say anything. Criticism was petrifying. This is the irony of being shy: you want people to notice you, and yet you want them to notice anything but you. Expressing an opinion means opening yourself up to criticism. And so I decided not to.
When I got older and started hearing more about politics, I would take the most general and concessionary approach possible. I wanted to agree with everyone because that way nobody could criticize me, right? And then I entered high school and was forced to pick a side.
Analyzing literature, answering a math question, debating in a history class - everything involves giving an answer and potentially having your answer be picked apart. Example: my English class this year answered sample college essay questions to prepare us for application season. I wrote three different essays and abandoned them all. They were all too short, too vague and kind of mediocre. I knew it was because I was trying to avoid standing out in a negative way - I was just writing what I thought admissions would like to read. Consequently, my answers were crap.
I realized I needed to let go of my fear of criticism and of standing out. I wrote a fourth one, on my best and worst qualities and was completely honest. I'm open-minded, and I'm always trying to gather other people's opinions on controversial topics to develop my own. And yet, I let other people's opinions affect me too much - I want to be in the majority, away from the criticism. The essay was way better than my other attempts, not going to lie. And writing it made me realize that this was the way to go: be honest, and say what you believe.
I learned how to stand up straighter, to not be afraid to take up more space. I tried to talk in class more, tried to speak louder. I even applied for some leadership positions and was accepted to each. It was terrifying to send in my applications so that someone could read them and judge me based on them, but definitely worth it!
So whether you're a shy kid like me, or you're someone who expresses their opinions readily and gets a lot of flak for it, know that your opinions are valid. It can be scary to pick a side and defend it against criticism, but ultimately, that is what you believe in. (Although, if it's something controversial, it can't hurt to read up on both sides!) Remaining carefully neutral on everything won't get you far, so it's therefore better to just be yourself.
