For D.C. sports fans, every single season goes through the same stages. It doesn’t matter what D.C. team you cheer for, whether it be the Redskins, Capitals, Nationals, Wizards or all of the above. The cycle that a D.C. sports fan goes through over the course of the season is always the same.
It used to be that all teams from our nation’s capital were consistently awful. However, over the past few years, the narrative on D.C. sports has changed from just being constantly bad, as each of the four major sports teams now has at least one elite-level player (Kirk Cousins, Alex Ovechkin, Bryce Harper, John Wall). The following GIFs show the stages that every D.C. sports fan goes through as the season arrives, no matter which of the four majors sports you support.
Stage 1: Confidently Ambitious
We've got this, right? Before the season starts, we're talking smack to our friends because we've got one of the best players in the nation, whether it be Captain Kirk, John Wall, Bryce or Ovechkin. I mean, the team is BUILT around them; our boys are stacked. We're not saying the team is going to be the best in the league, but we're already looking forward to the playoffs.
Stage 2: Realization We May Suck Again....
D.C. teams, for whatever reason, never seem to realize the season starts when it does. After the first couple weeks of play, our boys have lost a few more games than we were expecting them to. The Redskins just don't know how to play football in the first weeks of the season, and the Wizards, especially this past Wizards team, couldn't get a win in the first month of the season if they had to play a JV high school team.
Stage 3: Rebuilt Confidence
Now about five weeks into the season, the team finally woke up, got over that initial slump, and grabbed several consecutive wins. You're starting to get a little too ambitious and talk smack to your friends again even though the D.C. sports team has only been winning for a few weeks in a row now.
Stage 4: Shooting Overconfidence
We're now a little over halfway through the season and the team is on fire. The D.C. team is arguably one of the hottest and most competitive teams in the league. By the middle of the season, even the Redskins are looking really nice! If it's the Capitals or Nationals, they might even have the best record in the league. ESPN talks about the team as if they can do some serious damage come playoff time if they're still healthy.
Stage 5: Realistic Worry
Now about three-quarters through the season, the D.C. team is still looking good, but the length of the season is beginning to set in. The team either went on a bad losing streak or lost a very valuable player. The team was doing so good earlier on in the season that you knew they weren't going to be able to keep up their previous success; that's just what D.C. sports do. Hey, the sky isn't falling quite yet though and there's still some time left in the season for them to recover.
The end of the season came, and the team made the playoffs. We know that we shouldn't be too hopeful because our hopes always get crushed, but we can't deny that there's something special that feels different about this year's team.
Stage 7: Frightened Suspense
Playoffs have begun and our D.C. team is actually competing. They might get past the first round of the playoffs, but now we're scared to death because no D.C. team ever gets past the second round--it hasn't happened in over 20 years. COULD THIS BE THE TEAM TO FINALLY MAKE THE CONFERENCE FINALS?!
Stage 8: The Utter Disappointment of Defeat
It's over. Again, our D.C. sports team lost in the playoffs and we're all now wearing sweaters made of our tears. Of course, this team was just like all the others. I mean, they're from D.C. What else did we really expect? We got our hopes up just to have them crushed. This is just how it goes when you cheer for any team from our nation's capital.
It's an unhealthy, almost abusive, relationship. Our hearts are continually destroyed by the end of every single season. We're almost numb to the pain by now, but laughing about it helps get over the pain, right?
