I've grown up a sports fan my whole life. Important moments in my life were measured and organized by sports. I knew it was a Sunday because I plopped down on the couch next to my dad with a plate of cheese and crackers, our Dolphins games snack. I knew it was time to go to bed once the Marlins' games got to the seventh inning, my mom telling me it was getting late and it was a school night. I knew happiness because it is that feeling you get when your team hits a walk-off home run, completes the "Hail Mary" as the clock hits 0:00, or hits a game-winning three from downtown. These moments give you faith and hope and happiness even when you have nothing else to believe in. I became a sports fan before I realized that the sports world is not for me.

In elementary school, children are so naïve. I see it looking back on my experiences, and having interned in a first grade classroom during my senior year. When I was in elementary school, recess was the best part of the day. My friends, who were mostly boys, and I would make a beeline from the door to the field, grabbing the football on the way there, and rushing to pick teams and make the most of those glorious 30 minutes. I was not often the last person picked when playing football. The boys knew I could play, and the fact that I was a girl had no bearing on when I was selected. It was in those moments when I felt included in sports, a feeling that I had no clue would quickly vanish.

Fast forward seven years, and I am back in elementary school, only this time as a student-teacher. My students quickly learned that one of my favorite things was baseball. I was doing a group lesson around Valentine's Day with my class, asking each child to finish the sentence "I love…" on construction paper hearts for a new bulletin board. One student said "Miss Nicole, what do you love?" and another student, without raising his hand, blurted out "baseball!" and the whole room erupted into laughter. They weren't wrong, though. To my students, my love of baseball was not illegitimatized because of my gender; I'm sure they don't even consciously know that "sports are for boys." If there is one thing I hope I taught my students this year it is that if you love something, it is for you.

Transitioning into middle school was a tough one; it was a new school and I knew no one. My shy self has a hard enough time making friends, and the fact that everyone had known each other since elementary school didn't help my case. During P.E., I would walk out to the field with the rest of the boys to play football, or to the courts to play basketball. I got funny looks and was even told that "the rest of the girls usually sit over there and talk." It was then that I first began to feel like I didn't belong in sports. High school was the same. I'm sure I was labeled as that "crazy baseball girl," knowing enough, but it was never enough to gain respect that I felt like I so truly deserved. By my senior year however, things changed, even if it was ever so slightly.

I think one of the hardest people to prove my worth to was myself. I see other very talented bloggers and sports fans, who happen to be women, getting harassed on social media and on their websites. These women get death threats just for simply doing their job. Self-consciously, I saw those tweets and comments directed at them and felt like they were also directed at me, because they are in positions that I hope to be in when I am older. I kept telling myself that I had to give 150% to get the slightest bit of respect from others, when other men in the industry gave 75% and received much more than I ever would. I became so hard on myself, and was so worried about making a mistake that I wouldn't dare to speak up. I've held my tongue too many times on issues that are important to me, sports and otherwise, because I am afraid to step on the toes of men whose opinions mean nothing to me; but, once I began giving myself the credit that I deserved, I became more confident in my knowledge, and I can honestly say that I don’t put up with anyone's crap anymore. Don't get me wrong, it is still so frustrating to see misogyny thrown around, and to watch deserving women get ridiculed over their opinions, but I am learning to let it roll off my back instead of ruin my day. Women all over are to be seen and heard, despite recent comments by ESPN's Stephen A. Smith. Our opinions matter and we won't be silenced.

I have devoted my whole life to baseball. I've struggled to sneak a seat at the boys' table on many occasions, but by now, I've realized that I don't need a seat with the boys to validate my knowledge of the game. I've realized that I don't need to become one of the boys to earn their respect. I've realized that not having played baseball has no bearing on the extent of my knowledge. I've realized that I have a place in this game when the whole sport is telling me otherwise. I will not be silent about my passions, especially when what I have to say is important.