In the wake of what seems to be the most ambivalent holiday, many are left in an inevitable flurry of all things pink, red, and heart-shaped. For those of us who didn’t spend the holiday with a significant other, the overload of lovey-dovey posts and presents can have a discouraging or frustrating effect. Back in high school, amidst insecurity, superficiality, and my pile of pom poms, a wise woman told me, “Some will. Some won’t. So what? Someone is waiting.” When this advice was given to me, the context surrounding it pointed towards my tenth grade desire to walk through the halls holding a boy’s sweaty hand. However, the interpretation of this catchy phrase can span much wider than romance.
Since that moment in my life, I have often repeated this phrase to myself in regards to a plethora of situations, and have found it to be one of the most applicable pieces of wisdom i’ve ever received.
Don’t we all just love the word ‘yes’? Yes is addicting and exhilarating; we long to hear the word yes leave someone’s lips. It is affirming, reminding us we are capable and strong, and it boosts our self esteem. The word offers hope and stability, creating anticipation and sparking dreams within us. We can rely on a yes, we can continue to build a future atop a yes, we can celebrate a yes. Keep in mind, yes doesn’t always have to be a verbal exchange. It can be a feeling, an intuition, or an action. In friendship, a yes can be represented by an invitation, a seat at the table, a phone call to complain, or a phone call to squeal with excitement. Yes in friendship gives way to community and togetherness, things that life is dull without. A yes in career can mean a bigger office, bigger salary, and heightened respect. It can make room in the budget for an extra vacation, or be exactly what was lacking on a resume. Of course, love is full of yeses as well. Like we see on Valentine’s day, yes communicates companionship and reciprocation. It leaves us blushing and feeling oh-so-giddy. Yes within love is ravishing and radiant, comforting and compassionate. We all desire to hear the word yes, and sometimes we will. We’ll feel those feelings and smile that smile. We’ll get it, we’ll hear it, we’ll see it. We’ll do more, see more, go more. But unfortunately, not always.
‘No’, on the other hand- is definitely not as exciting as yes. In fact, it’s the opposite. No shuts a door, and forces us to explore other options. It can leave us retreating back into a shell, and putting up walls- brick walls. No is rejection, and it’s not easy to hear. Rejection tends to tell us a number of things; you’re not good enough, you’re not capable enough, you’re not attractive enough, you’re not important enough. It is a word that stings, a word that makes its way into the deepest parts of our heart to do serious damage. In all different capacities, no effects us on a raw and personal level. We can’t hide or run from a no, it's just there- staring us in the face. In friendship, career, love, and on all other fronts- no is not fun. But it is part of life, it happens. We can’t float through life on yes. Hearing a no now and then is unavoidable. So, some just won’t, however- that doesn’t make it any easier.
We’ve established that life is sprinkled with plenty of yes and a fair share of no. One is enlightening, the other discouraging. Nonetheless, both appeal to change. When put in either circumstance, we look around and say to ourselves, “what now?” If the answer is yes, this change can be just what we’d hoped - exciting and joyful. On the other hand, sometimes hearing no allows for some of the most necessary and life-altering change we can imagine. I have become stronger through no. I have struggled and fought and cried but come out on the other side a tougher, wiser, and more humble version of myself. No teaches us. We don’t always want to learn, but no doesn’t give us any other option. Besides, so what!?! There is loads more to life than a no. Although that door may be closed and bolted shut, don’t forget the second half of the quote, “If one door closes, another one opens.” Find the next yes. Expose yourself to new and different things, or shift your focus and drive to another area of your life. Dwelling on the no will only intensify your anguish and leave you sitting idle. Don’t get me wrong, it’s easier said than done, but life is a culmination of experience, opportunity, and plenty of yes and no.
Someone is Waiting.
Whether the answer be yes or no, there is always more. If the answer is no right now, you will hear a yes again. Don’t lose hope, and don’t give up. Someone is waiting. Or rather something is waiting. Your career and finances will eventually lean in your favor, even if it doesn’t happen in the way you expected or turn out exactly like you had planned in your head. Deep and true friendship is a gift; we don’t have it in every season of our lives, but we all will at some point. We will experience the glory of life-giving, through-it-all friendship. Love is a tricky one, because not everyone falls in love. Most do, but many others don’t. What’s important is knowing that either way, it’s okay. If falling in love is the greater plan for your life, you will. It might take time, some trial and error, and be lonely at points- but someone is out there waiting. You will experience enthralling and reciprocated love sooner or later. If that isn’t the greater plan for you, something is still waiting. It might take a much different shape or form than you imagined, but if you invest in the right places, choose joy instead of despair, and never lose hope, you will find what you’re looking for. Love doesn’t have to be confined to romance, it’s much more versatile than that. No matter your situation, there are no dead ends - someone, or something, is waiting.
There is much to learn from the wise woman who stifled my teenage boy-craziness. She suggested hope, and delivered a hard-fought battle cry to promote contentment. Few things in life are permanent, and treating them as such will only distract you from your next adventure. In every aspect of life, even on mushy-gushy days like Valentine’s Day, always remember this; Some will. Some won’t. So what? Someone is waiting.