Thanks To Social Media, Dating Has Become A Real Challenge For A Lot Of People

Thanks To Social Media, Dating Has Become A Real Challenge For A Lot Of People

Get out of my DMs and talk to me in person!

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It's 2019 and we are relying on our phones now more than ever. Sure, it can be helpful to have the internet at our fingertips. Within a matter of minutes, I can fill up my online shopping cart, order food to be delivered (so much love for Postmates), and see what all of my friends are up to on Instagram. There's an app for everything these days, but when it comes to relationships, most of them can do more harm than good.

Girls, how many times have you put a selfie on your snap story and had boys swipe up and respond with those heart eye emojis? Yeah, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Those same guys would never have the guts to tell you how nice you look in person. You know why? Because social media allows us to hide behind a screen. Behind our phones, we are free to say whatever we please without the same fear we feel in face-to-face conversations.

Not only can we hide behind our profiles, but we are also unable to exhibit our best qualities. Sure ladies, that selfie you posted on Instagram is gorgeous, but it says nothing about your amazing character. You might have the biggest heart, be super friendly, and have a passion for writing but those are things that aren't always super evident on your profile. To make things worse, we squeal with delight when that cute guy from economics class likes your picture. We read into the absolute dumbest things regarding likes, comments, and shares, and it's ridiculous. To him, it could be a simple double tap, he might think you're cute or is simply returning the favor (a like for a like). To the girl who probably reads too far into things, you might misinterpret that like to think he likes you. And that's merely the beginning of communication problems social media brings to the dating world...

Not showing someone's true character on social media can also be a problem in the opposite direction. They might look nice on their Facebook page, but can be a complete jerk in person (or a catfisher, there I said it). As I said, you literally know a mere fraction about a person on social media, yet that's what we base everything off of. I mean, look at Tinder. It's a dating app that generates matches based off of appearances! How superficial.

To make matters worse, clear, effective communication is nearly impossible to master through social media. Especially in relationships. Everything we say can be misconstrued and just completely misunderstood. Snapchats disappear, Twitter limits our characters, and Instagram stories expire. These platforms might make communication faster and helpful when it comes to distance, but it certainly will never beat face-to-face conversations. And that's pretty key when it comes to having a healthy relationship.

Lastly, social media allows us to be incredibly petty and sneaky. We care way too much. If you have a Twitter, let's be honest.. you know you've probably sent out a petty tweet that you sent out for someone to see on purpose. Ah, yes, the subtweet. Don't even get me started on the infamous "finsta." We think these are outlets and ways to spill our guts but realistically, it's pretty immature (no worries, I'm guilty of it all too). Plus, you know you've heard of those relationships where the significant other goes through and unfollows/blocks people they don't want talking to his/her girlfriend/boyfriend on that person's phone or stalking their Snapchat map location. That's a whole new level of insecurity and lack of trust.

So where does that leave us? Currently, we obsess over the number of likes we get, we thrive on the comments and basically gush over all of the direct messages. Thanks to social media, we're stuck as social media acts as an occasional facade. Let's face it, we're insecure, and social media isn't helping us in any way. So let's put the phones down. Let's talk to people face to face and have a real genuine conversation. Let's be honestly invested in our relationships without allowing Snapchat or Instagram to ruin things for us.

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To My Boyfriend's Mom

He loves you more than you could ever imagine...
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Without you, there would not be a him, so first things first, thank you.

1. Thank you for teaching him to love a woman the right way, to put God first, and YOU before me always, the respect he shows you is so attractive, and you deserve it.

He talks about you like you hung the moon, I don't doubt for a second that he will be an amazing father one day, I owe all of that to you.

2. Thank you for giving me a chance, learning to love me when you knew your son was doing the same.

I can't speak for my own first impressions, but hopefully mine was not THAT bad...when we both slapped him on the arms for his rude remark at the same time, I knew our relationship was already blossoming.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

3. Thank you for every meal you have ever purchased me.

And chocolate, and candy...you know just as well as your son does that food is the way to my heart. Especially Taco Bell and cheesecake ;)

4. Thank you for your advice, suggestions, and opinions...and asking for mine

Whether it's telling me to slap him for being a smart a$$, or you're asking me about color swabs for your kitchen makeover, you come to me as if I am your own, and I am so honored to give you my own input.

5. Thank you for including me

You never fail to leave a spot for me, and I love family dinners/outings with you guys just as much as I love my own!

6. Thank you for teaching your son to never give up, and that if he does it is only to better himself, or it's the only choice he has left.

He is so focused on his future, he wants the best for himself, and he is constantly reminding me that these are things that YOU taught him, you deserve to be so proud.

7. Thank you for letting him love my family, and allowing me to love yours.

He is so loyal and loving to my family, and I don't even have to ask myself why because I see him with you and yours. Thank you for letting us double up on holidays when we can, and making sure we get the most out of our time with you!

8. Thank you for being his best friend.

I think of him as mine too, but I couldn't think of a better person to also hold that title, you know him better than anyone else and you always will.

9. Thank you for teaching him how to treat a woman

He is constantly telling me "You sound like my mother." Thankfully earlier in our relationship, he told me that the woman he wants to be with, should do just that. He always tells people who try, "No, no one calls me by my full name except my mom and my girlfriend."

10. Thank you for your honesty

We all know that he and I can drive you crazy sometimes, thank you for telling us like it is, and making sure we know you still love us anyways.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

11. Thank you for teaching him to work as hard as possible in anything and everything he does.

I have never met anyone with such a desire for success, he and I are constantly discussing how we can better our futures, and I know exactly where his drive comes from.

12. Thank you for teaching him to clean up after himself

Even though sometimes, it takes him a minute to do so.

13. Thank you for teaching him how to love, and letting him love me.

I have never felt so loved by a man, probably because anyone else who came into my life was just a boy. Thank you for your unconditional love for him, he is your entire heart and that is so easy to see, I am happy to share his with you.

You and I both know that even years from now we will both occasionally probably be closing the fridge that he left open, cleaning the crumbs he dropped, demanding he take a shower after playing soccer, or reminding him 20 times about plans we made weeks ago, we both share such a great love for such an amazing man. I could never be more thankful that you brought forth into this world such a comforting, supportive, protective, steadfast, driven, handsome, and hilarious guy. Thank you for everything you do for him, for me, and for us, I love you a lot!

Cover Image Credit: casey

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Facebook's Privacy Pivot: What You Need To Know

As others are saying, we've been "Zucked." Again.

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Technology is changing. People are changing. Times are changing.

It's no secret that Facebook is spiraling down after it was released that "private" messages sent on Facebook are actually used by data analyzers to collect information on users. It's also no secret that people were pretty darn pissed about it.

The gap between companies and their users is closing very quickly, so what used to be "secret" before, isn't so secret now. As a response to all of the backlash from Facebook users about the platform's lack of privacy, Mark Zuckerberg has proposed a new "privacy pivot." He hopes to transform Facebook's reputation of being a "town square" to a "living room": more and more people are shifting from sharing publicly to sharing just one-on-one or with a few, close friends. For example, more than 63% of users send content to one another through Facebook Messenger, compared to the 55% of people that have shared publicly, or, in the "town square."

Zuckerberg has proposed changes to Facebook that will shift to look more like it's sister brand, WhatsApp, a messaging app that users utilize to speak to direct audiences. This, however, cannot be pulled off easily, and many people are scrutinizing Zuckerberg already due to not having any sort of true business model. First, Facebook is a publicly traded company and therefore has a duty to pay shareholders. Despite having 15 million fewer users today than in 2017, Facebook's earnings have increased due to loyal advertisers. Changing Facebook's platform would mean changing ways of advertising, which could make the company lose part of their 7 million companies that advertise with them, which, of course, means a large decrease in profit.


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There are opportunities, however, to tap into markets that have never been reached before. Facebook, WhatsApp and Instagram are all under the same company umbrella. These three, powerful platforms could work together to create a way of communicating that has never been done before, both benefitting the users and advertisers. Business professor and contributor to Forbes Magazine, Bhaskar Chakravorti described this innovation as, "creating new ways to open up advertising streams and tracking a diversity of user activity. This could lead to new revenue opportunities that are currently untapped and reduce costs through consolidation of the back end infrastructure and reduced need to monitor encrypted information." This could still have it's risks, though, being a completely new innovation, which Chakravori addresses later in the article.

It seems that at this point, this "privacy pivot" is a whole lot of talk and not a lot of walk. Personally, I just want a real step to be taken for my messages to be encrypted and secure. All of this other fancy innovation can come at a later time.

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