It's 2019 and we are relying on our phones now more than ever. Sure, it can be helpful to have the internet at our fingertips. Within a matter of minutes, I can fill up my online shopping cart, order food to be delivered (so much love for Postmates), and see what all of my friends are up to on Instagram. There's an app for everything these days, but when it comes to relationships, most of them can do more harm than good.
Girls, how many times have you put a selfie on your snap story and had boys swipe up and respond with those heart eye emojis? Yeah, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Those same guys would never have the guts to tell you how nice you look in person. You know why? Because social media allows us to hide behind a screen. Behind our phones, we are free to say whatever we please without the same fear we feel in face-to-face conversations.
Not only can we hide behind our profiles, but we are also unable to exhibit our best qualities. Sure ladies, that selfie you posted on Instagram is gorgeous, but it says nothing about your amazing character. You might have the biggest heart, be super friendly, and have a passion for writing but those are things that aren't always super evident on your profile. To make things worse, we squeal with delight when that cute guy from economics class likes your picture. We read into the absolute dumbest things regarding likes, comments, and shares, and it's ridiculous. To him, it could be a simple double tap, he might think you're cute or is simply returning the favor (a like for a like). To the girl who probably reads too far into things, you might misinterpret that like to think he likes you. And that's merely the beginning of communication problems social media brings to the dating world...
Not showing someone's true character on social media can also be a problem in the opposite direction. They might look nice on their Facebook page, but can be a complete jerk in person (or a catfisher, there I said it). As I said, you literally know a mere fraction about a person on social media, yet that's what we base everything off of. I mean, look at Tinder. It's a dating app that generates matches based off of appearances! How superficial.
To make matters worse, clear, effective communication is nearly impossible to master through social media. Especially in relationships. Everything we say can be misconstrued and just completely misunderstood. Snapchats disappear, Twitter limits our characters, and Instagram stories expire. These platforms might make communication faster and helpful when it comes to distance, but it certainly will never beat face-to-face conversations. And that's pretty key when it comes to having a healthy relationship.
Lastly, social media allows us to be incredibly petty and sneaky. We care way too much. If you have a Twitter, let's be honest.. you know you've probably sent out a petty tweet that you sent out for someone to see on purpose. Ah, yes, the subtweet. Don't even get me started on the infamous "finsta." We think these are outlets and ways to spill our guts but realistically, it's pretty immature (no worries, I'm guilty of it all too). Plus, you know you've heard of those relationships where the significant other goes through and unfollows/blocks people they don't want talking to his/her girlfriend/boyfriend on that person's phone or stalking their Snapchat map location. That's a whole new level of insecurity and lack of trust.
So where does that leave us? Currently, we obsess over the number of likes we get, we thrive on the comments and basically gush over all of the direct messages. Thanks to social media, we're stuck as social media acts as an occasional facade. Let's face it, we're insecure, and social media isn't helping us in any way. So let's put the phones down. Let's talk to people face to face and have a real genuine conversation. Let's be honestly invested in our relationships without allowing Snapchat or Instagram to ruin things for us.
