Social Media Does Not Equal Validation

Social Media Does Not Equal Validation

It won't ever provide enough
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I have talked time and time again about how much I have a love-hate relationship with social media. We all know it has changed the course of society and potentially not for the better. There are so many things wrong with our mentality surrounding it and how we treat others because of it. I am not claiming to be perfect or to have perfect execution of my social media. However, I am aware of one thing: validation. I bring this up because I was troubled about my use of social media. I have become MORE reserved than I have been in the past and less of a complainer about things and releaser all of my emotions. I was trying to think of the “Why”. Why am I on social media? Why did I post that? What was my intention? How do I respond to it afterward?

When I was 17, Instagram became a thing. I made an account and was really excited! I love sharing photos. There was a time, however, when I would get so discouraged when I posted a photo and not all 100 of my followers liked it. Nowadays I get more likes, but I also post more fulfilling and important content. Back in the day, I used to post a picture of a plate of cookies or my hair in braids. IT WASN’T IMPORTANT. At least what I try to post now is uplifting, meaningful content. Still, none of it matters. Likes don’t matter. And even though I get more likes now than I did before, they still don’t matter. I am also not filled with that same disappointment about how many people didn’t like my photo. Why did I strive for so much approval based on a double tap? There are many reasons why people don’t like someone’s post and it normally isn’t because they don’t like you. Either way, we shouldn’t be striving for validation from others. It is ALWAYS disappointing.

What sparked my inspiration for this article was the fact that I recently rebooted my Twitter. Twitter is the biggest time suck in the world. It used to be my fount (and still is for many) for instant gratification. I rebooted my Twitter to literally ask a former Bachelor contestant to be my plus one to my sister’s wedding. I know…ridiculous, but Blake K. was quite handsome and a classy gentleman. Anywho, I was having an internal struggle if all my recent social media posting was the product of wanting likes or favorites. The truth is I have always struggled with validation when it comes to social media. Maybe I don’t get disappointed when likes don’t reach a certain number anymore, but I used to post things because I wanted specific people to see it and like it. Now don’t get me wrong, I have never posted anything that isn’t true to my character or something that does not represent who I am. I just sometimes would post things so that specific people could like it. If they didn’t, I would get upset. I have recently changed my ways, but upon reflecting on this topic, I realized I don’t do these things in real life. It made me realize that a flaw and issue I struggled with was completely created by social media. If I am not posting anything on social media, I am participating in my daily life not trying to please anyone or make anyone see what I do. If I am posting on social media, I still don’t try to create a me that begs for validation. I thought this was completely strange.

However, it made complete sense. Social media has done weird things to our society! And I have found that this is one of many issues social media creates. Now, maybe you struggle with validation not just on social media. However, that is an issue that only haunts me on social media. Now, as I share more meaningful content and less often, I have come to find a better response. The only “disappointment” I am left with has to do with the work and thought I put into something. It is sometimes disappointing if I share something (for example, this article) insightful and not many people like it. However, I do move on, don’t let it get me down, and celebrate the fact that I was brave to share whatever part of my heart I poured out. It has nothing to do with a number.

I guess what I am trying to say is look at where you seek validation. Since my social media reflection, I have been focusing on getting validation from the only one I need it from: God. As a priest told me in Confession a few weeks ago, never measure yourself up to any measuring stick of the world because you will only be disappointed. That is the truth. We all know it! So look where you seek validation, what your intentions are, the “why” behind your actions, posts, etc., and how you respond afterward. Realize that you are amazing the way you are. You don’t need to measure up to anyone’s validation system because you are perfect the way you are. Seek validation in God alone because He knows how amazing you are! He is the only validation you need! And don’t forget it!

Cover Image Credit: SummitPost

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17 Empowering Bible Verses For Women

You go, girl.
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We all have those days where we let the negative thoughts that we're "not good enough," "not pretty enough" or "not smart enough" invade our minds. It's easy to lose hope in these situations and to feel like it would be easier to just give up. However, the Bible reminds us that these things that we tell ourselves are not true and it gives us the affirmations that we need. Let these verses give you the power and motivation that you're lacking.

1. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."

2. Psalm 46:5

"God is within her, she will not fall."

3. Luke 1:45

"Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her."

4. Proverbs 31:17

"She is energetic and strong, a hard worker."

5. Psalm 28:7

"The Lord is my strength and my shield."

6. Proverbs 11:16

"A gracious woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth."

7. Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

8. Proverbs 31:30

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised."

9. 1 Corinthians 15:10

"By the grace of God, I am what I am."

10. Proverbs 31:26

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness."

11. Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

12. 1 Peter 3:3-4

"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."

13. Colossians 2:10

"And in Christ you have been brought to fullness."

14. 2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

15. Jeremiah 29:11

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'"

16. Exodus 14:14

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."

17. Song of Songs 4:7

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way."

Next time you're feeling discouraged or weak, come back to these verses and use them to give you the strength and power that you need to conquer your battles.

Cover Image Credit: Julia Waterbury

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4 Ways Being Confident Can Improve Your Life

Everyone knows that it's better to be confident, but here are some actual ways it will change your life!

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I haven't always considered myself to be a confident person until recently. Now that I am, I can see the various ways it has impacted my life.

1. You'll be glowing!

Confidence makes you look so much better because of the way it radiates off of you. Confident people can light up a room right when they walk in it. You don't have to be prettier or smarter than anyone to have this confidence; you just have to be proud of your own individual differences.

My confidence doesn't stem from the way I look or the way I preform at school or work, but from the recognition I have of my own big heart. I am confident because I know I'm kind, funny, and friendly. People can see this in me now that I'm aware of it, but I wasn't always.

2. You'll have less fear!

When you're confident in yourself, you won't have to think twice before putting yourself out there. You won't be as scared of doing things because you'll be more confident in your ability to do them. Once you push past your fears, they will begin to diminish.

If you're scared to approach someone you like, do it anyway because confident people never let fear stop them from trying.

3. You will feel empowered most days!

Not only will confidence improve the way you look and the way others see you, but it will also have you feeling better emotionally. I've gained a lot of confidence this past year and I feel a lot stronger because of it. While I still have days where I'm sad or days where I struggle, the confidence I have that I will get through it makes it happen much faster.

Feeling good about yourself is crucial to your happiness. So, stop procrastinating the hard work of falling in love with yourself and decide to stop seeing yourself in a negative light.

4. People will notice!

Being confident will change your own personal life, but it will also change the way everyone around you sees you. We are the energy we give off. Good things will start coming into your life if the energy that you are exuding is positive. Better people will be attracted to you and your confidence will be something everyone notices.

I didn't even realize how confident I had become until my friends started pointing out the way they could tell I had become a much happier person. Don't let your smiles be fake and don't walk around with a slouch when it only takes slow, little changes to make a big difference in your overall life!

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