As we get deeper into September, a new school year begins for students around the world. School causes a lot of stress and general anxiety for many students. Other students, including me, suffer from a different kind of anxiety — social anxiety. Social anxiety differs from person to person, for some it can be more severe than for others. To put it simply, they experience extreme fear of interacting with people.
Symptoms are different for every person with social anxiety. Physically, symptoms range from blushing to shortness of breath to nausea and dizziness. Not every person will experience every symptom. Social anxiety is very selective. Some people may feel anxiety and fear in situations where they interact with “important” people or giving a speech but they may feel perfectly comfortable in similar situations. On the other hand, other people may feel anxiety and fear doing everyday tasks such as participating in class or starting conversations.
People with social anxiety can also suffer from anxiety or panic attacks. Anxiety attacks come in reaction to a stressor, such as hearing footsteps behind you in an alley. People may experience shortness of breath and a racing heart coupled with fearfulness and apprehensiveness. Anxiety attacks are short-lived as they tend to go away when the stressor, such as the person following you, goes away. Panic attacks are different. They are unprovoked and unpredictable. During an attack, a person can be seized with terror, fear or apprehension. They experience chest pains, shortness of breath, dizziness, nausea, the feeling that they’re going to die, lose control or have a heart attack. Some people might take measures to avoid places they've previously had panic attacks in.
My personal experience with social anxiety has, frankly, been a living hell. Since I was about 10 or 11 I have dealt with my social anxiety. I have the kind of social anxiety where simple, everyday interactions with people terrify me to no end. Things such as ordering food, answering the phone or door, sending emails, participating in class, asking questions, cashing out at a store and things of that nature give me immense fear. Talking about my anxiety gives me anxiety. In fact, writing this article is giving me anxiety. If I gave a full list of everything that gave me anxiety this document would probably be about five pages long. Every day, when I encounter a situation where I would have to react with people, I would plan out what I would say or how I would act for, no joke, literally 20 minutes before I would spend about 5-10 minutes gathering the courage to actually speak or complete the task.
From experience, social anxiety is exhausting. The constant fear, worrying, questioning, overreacting and uneasiness takes its toll in a vicious way. I hid my anxiety from my family and friends until earlier this year when I was having a bit of a breakdown, and I had no other choice but to tell someone about it.
There is no shame in getting help. There is no shame in taking medication. It does not make you weak.
If you suffer from social anxiety, this is my advice to you: breathe. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Tell yourself it will be OK, and you will get through it because you will. Tell yourself that you are so much more than your anxiety. Do this every day, and somewhere along the way, you will start to believe it. Tell someone you trust, whether it be a friend, a family member or a doctor. They love you, and they are there to help you, no matter what. Read inspiring quotes, do things that make you happy, express yourself. Do not hurt yourself, instead try writing everything down. Trust me, it will do wonders. Do not be afraid to get help. Yes, it is scary, but it will help you tremendously. You will survive this.
If you know someone who suffers from social anxiety, this is my advice to you: listen. Be there for them, be their shoulder to cry on, their confidante. Do not brush off their fears. Know that if they have gathered up the courage to tell you, they trust you with this information. If they ask you to order for them, stand next to them while they do something or reassure them a number of times, do it. Do not roll your eyes or sigh in exasperation. Do not tell them to just “get over it, it’s not that big of a deal.” Trust me, they know it’s not supposed to be a big deal, but to them it is. If they start to express concerning behavior, such as suicidal tendencies, you may have to convince them to tell someone with authority to do something or you may have to tell that person yourself. Watch out for them.
I believe in you.
