I don’t know about you, but I find myself being asked about my love life quite often. Whether they know me personally or not, most people will ask me about my relationship status. Now, I don’t mind the genuine curiosity. In fact, I’m glad people are interested in knowing those kinds of things about my life, so I don’t mind answering. I’m single, and I’m happy. But, I’ve noticed that when I tell people I’m not dating anyone, they tend to react as if it’s strange to them that I’m happy without significant other. So, they respond with things like:
“Well, why aren’t you dating anyone?”
“You’re too pretty to be single.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll find someone soon.”
“Are you interested in anyone?
“Oh, did you just get out of a relationship?”
Or, guys decide that’s a cue to help me change that.
The fact is, my relationship status doesn’t need to be changed. I jokingly tell people that I’m in a relationship with myself, but it’s actually the truth. I believe that it is so important to love, value, and cherish yourself before you let another person try to do it. Being single forces you to make yourself happy and learn to be happy with who you are. And if I’ve learned anything from past relationships, it’s that you can’t allow people to decide what you’re worth. If you don’t know how valuable you are, you’re giving another person the power to determine that for you. And just because you place a high value on them doesn’t mean that they will do same for you. Learning to love yourself and be happy with yourself gives you a chance to see how valuable you truly are.
Throughout high school and most of my college experience so far, there was always a guy. Official or not, I was always seeing somebody. Because of that, I never really got the chance to get to know myself. When you’re with someone, you tend to start liking and disliking the same things. You share the same interests, hobbies, and habits. When you’re no longer with that person, you tend to lose a pretty big chunk of yourself too. That’s why it’s so important to spend time with yourself and find out who you are. That way, you can’t be defined by something temporary, and you won’t lose yourself when you lose the relationship.
So, no. I’m not looking for someone to help me change my relationship status. Since I started dating myself, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I don’t need to be with someone to validate my existence, and I am too young and happy to be tirelessly searching for someone just to have them. I’m not saying that I’m shutting down the idea of being in a relationship. If the right person comes along, then great! But until then, I’ll be happily living and loving life with myself.
