In order to be happily single, there is only one thing you have to do. You have to find yourself. Finding yourself is something you cannot do when you’re in a relationship. It is knowing who you are and having a strong sense of self-identity.
When you do not know who you are, you may find yourself identifying through a crush, or your significant other. You become a chameleon, adjusting yourself to fit with who you are with, or want to be with. You start to analyze your actions through the lens of that person. Would they like this? Will this make them notice me? Will this make them like me more? STOP HERE.
Happy and single is not defined by parties and sleeping around. Drunk nights, anonymous hookups, binge eating, smoking, or whatever you do, using the excuse “it’s single life,” are only ways to fill a void. It is natural for us to want love and affection. But, the absence of it does not need to be a hole in your identity. You are not defined by a relationship status.
Finding yourself will not happen when you find the one. It will not happen when you get married. It will happen when you settle down. If you try this, those things will become your source of happiness. You rely on their validation and appreciation. If you are on the endless search for love, you’re in a relationship with the hunt. Enjoy this time. You are free from the responsibility of a relationship. Make decisions on your own without looking for validation from friends or other people. Learn to stand up on your own two feet. Alone time is important.
Finding yourself is knowing what you stand for. What you believe in. Know your out take on life and what you want out of it. I find my solace in Christ. Finding yourself is being happy with being you. I have acknowledged that there will always be someone more beautiful, in better shape, and better than me in some way. And that is okay. Those people are not me. I am unique in my own right. Finding yourself is owning your individuality and uniqueness. Do not waver when you meet someone. You may not be where you want to be. We all have areas in our lives and personalities we want to improve. Be okay with not being there yet. Life is a process- we are still a work in progress.
When you find yourself, you will not change at the opportunity of a relationship. You won’t find yourself in a relationship with the wrong person. After knowing who you are, you will know when a compatible person comes along. You are saving yourself the heartache. You won’t be traveling from love interest to interest, fantasizing about love. Have standards for a partner. When you get into a relationship, you will not need to depend on them for happiness -- since you already are happy.
Whether you are in a relationship or not ask yourself “Have I found myself?"
