As a naïve high school girl, I always daydreamed of the perfect scenario for my college career. I would come to school freshman year, meet a nice boy, be dating just long enough to take him home for Thanksgiving so he can meet the family, and go to his house and meet his family. My family would love him and his would love me and life would be great and picture perfect. Maybe he would end up being the person I marry the person, maybe it would have been a different boy at the next thanksgiving. I didn’t plan that far ahead.
But here is what really happened: Every single holiday, since my birth. I have been single. NOT THAT THIS IS A BAD THING. In the slightest. But I have dealt with the questions, pity looks, and the typical, “How are you still single? You’re so pretty, kind, and [insert nice adjective here]”, always said in an unintentionally but patronizing way. And of course, these relatives mean well. They really think and want you to be cherished and loved just all like all of us should be. However, having this same conversation 20 times in a month time span can get really annoying, frustrating, or even slightly dispiriting. And let's be honest, who wants to talk about your dating life when there are mash potatoes piled RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!? Not me!
And the whole time you are stuck in these tragic conversations with your Aunt Sally or your Nana, you can’t help but feel like you have to explain yourself. So, they don’t think you aren’t trying, you aren’t holing yourself up in your dorm room, you aren’t unable to communicate with the opposite sex, and you aren’t incapable of dating. But usually there are reasons, maybe you are focusing on your academics, you just got of a relationship, or you just started texting that cute boy in your English class, but it’s not a relationship, and you’re not even really sure if he likes you or you like him. But you can’t tell Nana that so you just don’t want to say anything.
So essentially you have some options. But, this also depends on the number of holidays you have been single, how close you are with the respective family members, and how much you actually care about what they think of you. Here are some of the ways I have handled the situations based off of these past 4 collegiate years:
Freshman Year:
Situation: Was kinda talking to some boy but wasn’t really a thing and we had hung out once or twice but haven’t confessed our love for each other. Yeah, you know exactly what I am talking about.
My answer to the question: “Oh well I just.. uh… um… yeah. No, I’m not dating anyone. Just, um. Yeah. I just have been focusing on school and making good friends, yeah.”
Honestly, because I was not ready or mentally prepared to answer the questions. I forgot that I was sent to college to find a man to support me *remarked sarcastically*. So I pulled the first decent excuse I could come up with that wasn’t completely ridiculous. And it was fine for the first time, having to deal with the question, although very ungraceful, it was a moderate success.
Sophomore Year:
Situation: Utterly, completely, and happily single. And busy and only low key had a crush on the boy I would run into in the dining courts. But this time I was prepared to be bombarded by the question.
My answer to the question: “I’ve just been busy and really focusing on balancing school and the really cool extra-curricular I am involved.” And this is the perfect chance for you to CHANGE THE TOPIC!
It’s the perfect way for you to talk about the other cool things you are learning, doing, and enjoying while enhancing your life at a great institute of your choosing. Talk about the cool class, crazy teacher, fun shenanigans with your roommate, or the awesome philanthropy you care so much about.
Junior Year:
Situation: Kinda single, kinda dating someone, but not really sure what the situation and didn’t really want to talk about it with my extended family.
My answer to the question: “I actually have 7 boyfriends. Yeah, they are all in different majors. And they haven’t figured out about each other yet, so it’s going well.”
I turned to sarcasm, cause it’s the easiest form of defense I have. And I honestly was sick of the question. And it was an easy way to get them to drop the question and move on to something else.
Senior Year:
Situation: Not looking for anyone, but wouldn’t be mad if something would happen. Also enjoying being single like every girl should sometime in her life.
My answer to the question, “Well I don’t know where I am going to be next year, so I don’t really want to start dating someone and be in a different state or country for goodness sake.”
Why not blame it on the future? Why not blame it on the uncertainties that I have in my life? Because I can.
Other reasonable excuses that will quickly change the topic:
Make up a boyfriend, say your dating around, drink wine and pretend you didn't hear them, pretend your sick, go take a nap, when they ask you immediately stuff food in your mouth, tell them you're an independent women who don't need no man, or just get up and leave. All are somewhat reasonable and would be extremely entertaining.
But overall, the real reason I am single because I haven’t met the right person. Or if I have it’s been the wrong timing. Or maybe God has better plans for me. But I don’t ever plan on lowering my standards so that my family can simply meet some boy that I don’t plan on marrying. I don’t plan on lowering my standards just so I can have a person to cuddle with. I plan on waiting. Waiting for God’s plan to take its course. And put my faith in him. This may be the exact thing you need to tell your relatives, or you can take one of my reasons.
But stay strong, take their compliments and smile at them. But know that you don’t need a reason for not having a boyfriend. Cause you are enough. And know that your family will love you with or without a boyfriend. They simply want you to be happy. And show them you are!
Happy Thanksgiving. Good luck these holidays!
