All A Single Girl Needs Is A Single Friend

All A Single Girl Needs Is A Single Friend

A man is not her necessity.


In all honesty, being single sucks sometimes. Especially in college. It can get rough, watching what feels like literally everyone being in seemingly perfect relationships. 'Cause they're only putting on a show with the parts that are pleasing to the naked eye. But what makes it that much worse is having friends feeling sorry for me, or thinking I'm inexperienced, and therefore missing out on a vital part of my character development.

But when I think about it, the only times I've ever been down on myself about it is when they're making me feel small.

I'm really good at being by myself. I can confidently say that I don't experience FOMO. I can feed off of my own positive energy. I know my time is coming, but that time isn't right now. All I need, as a single woman, is a single friend. Someone who gets that it's fun not to be 19 and nagged. Guys feel like a task to me, or an obligation. And I have enough of those at the moment.

I'd like to think that life comes at us in waves or stages. And that they're organized by priorities. College is basically the only time it's acceptable for your priority to be yourself. Your world gets to revolve on an axis around itself. And people understand that. Because for four years, you're setting yourself up for every other priority you'll ever have: the career and the family and the mortgage and all the serious stuff that doesn't have to matter in the present. And then even when you are at the center, you still have to pepper in all the other shit. Like classes, work, friends, and time to eat and refuel.

Entering your twenties is like one of those "pick two" triangle charts, except it's a dodecahedron and you still only get a couple of picks. Because your life could go in a million directions and you have a lot of options for how to spend your time, but when you add something to the list, other things will inevitably fall through the cracks.

If one of those things you pick is a relationship, there's more to juggle. In turn, there's more to drop. And maybe you're a fabulous juggler. But don't take it personally when your friends and family feel like they're in the danger zone every time they find themselves up in the air.

A single girl deserves to feel important to someone. We want to be wanted. And not by a guy. That's where the single friends come in. They feel like the biggest blessing. There's such a smaller chance of being dropped for a better opportunity. They're down to do just about anything without question or hesitation. And it feels great. They aren't in a hurry and they're just taking life as it comes. There's no added drama or feeling guilty for taking their time because you're their source of fun.

There's nothing wrong with having friends in relationships. They have cool stories and sometimes we get to learn from their mistakes. Then you also get to marvel in the thought of "how do they do it?" Plus, you get to feel extra important when they finally pencil you into their plans. But they're on different wavelengths. They want different things out of life and seem to think that time is fleeting.

So at the end of the day, all a single girl needs is a single friend to get her through the day-to-day. Someone to get through the little spurts of loneliness that ensue. Someone who will always have time. A dinner date. A fellow woman who has faith in the future she can't see.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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It Is OK To Have Guy Friends That Are Literally Just Guy Friends

Some of my best friends are guys and sometimes they are better friends than girls are.


Lately, I have come to the realization that some of my guy friends are better then some girls I call my "friends". Ever since middle school, I have always had many guy friends that have always been just guy friends, and nothing more. Some girls had a problem with it back then and they still do now, maybe because they are jealous, or maybe because they feel left out. However, I decided a long time ago to keep those guy friends for reasons like...

1. They Don't Take Things So Seriously

You can always joke around with them, and they will joke around with you right back. You can be as nice as you want or as mean as you want to them, and they will always take it as joke. I think that sometimes girls have a difficult time deciphering between when you are being serious or when you are joking. Most of my guys friends tend to not things too seriously at least 75% of the time.

2. They Are Always Honest

When I need a blatantly honest opinion I always ask my guy friends (and my mom). I do this because guys do not really care about whether or not their response will make you mad. Also, guys do not think about if their answer will benefit them personally or not before they answer.

3. They Genuinely Listen To You

Not all the time. But when I am upset, they are always the ones most concerned. Some of my guy friends take over the "big brother" role when it comes to some situations. My guy friends always listen to my problems or just the same old rants I give all the time because if something is wrong, or something has hurt me, they want to know, in order for them to try and fix it.

I am not trying to say that my girl friends are not my best friends either, and I really do have the best best friend. But sometimes, it just feels good to hangout with my guy friends. Guy friends, that I have never had a romantic relationship or feelings for and they have not had for me. These guys have always been there, and for that I am grateful.

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