In all honesty, being single sucks sometimes. Especially in college. It can get rough, watching what feels like literally everyone being in seemingly perfect relationships. 'Cause they're only putting on a show with the parts that are pleasing to the naked eye. But what makes it that much worse is having friends feeling sorry for me, or thinking I'm inexperienced, and therefore missing out on a vital part of my character development.
But when I think about it, the only times I've ever been down on myself about it is when they're making me feel small.
I'm really good at being by myself. I can confidently say that I don't experience FOMO. I can feed off of my own positive energy. I know my time is coming, but that time isn't right now. All I need, as a single woman, is a single friend. Someone who gets that it's fun not to be 19 and nagged. Guys feel like a task to me, or an obligation. And I have enough of those at the moment.
I'd like to think that life comes at us in waves or stages. And that they're organized by priorities. College is basically the only time it's acceptable for your priority to be yourself. Your world gets to revolve on an axis around itself. And people understand that. Because for four years, you're setting yourself up for every other priority you'll ever have: the career and the family and the mortgage and all the serious stuff that doesn't have to matter in the present. And then even when you are at the center, you still have to pepper in all the other shit. Like classes, work, friends, and time to eat and refuel.
Entering your twenties is like one of those "pick two" triangle charts, except it's a dodecahedron and you still only get a couple of picks. Because your life could go in a million directions and you have a lot of options for how to spend your time, but when you add something to the list, other things will inevitably fall through the cracks.
If one of those things you pick is a relationship, there's more to juggle. In turn, there's more to drop. And maybe you're a fabulous juggler. But don't take it personally when your friends and family feel like they're in the danger zone every time they find themselves up in the air.
A single girl deserves to feel important to someone. We want to be wanted. And not by a guy. That's where the single friends come in. They feel like the biggest blessing. There's such a smaller chance of being dropped for a better opportunity. They're down to do just about anything without question or hesitation. And it feels great. They aren't in a hurry and they're just taking life as it comes. There's no added drama or feeling guilty for taking their time because you're their source of fun.
There's nothing wrong with having friends in relationships. They have cool stories and sometimes we get to learn from their mistakes. Then you also get to marvel in the thought of "how do they do it?" Plus, you get to feel extra important when they finally pencil you into their plans. But they're on different wavelengths. They want different things out of life and seem to think that time is fleeting.
So at the end of the day, all a single girl needs is a single friend to get her through the day-to-day. Someone to get through the little spurts of loneliness that ensue. Someone who will always have time. A dinner date. A fellow woman who has faith in the future she can't see.
- A Single Girl's Approach To Toxic Relationships ›
- 6 Things That Are True If You're The Single Girl Who Gets Asked ... ›
- 10 Signs You're the Shy Single Friend ›
- Confessions From A Perpetually Single Girl ›
- 11 Facts When You're The Only Single Friend, As Told By Liz Lemon ›