I wish I could say that it was obvious.

I wish I could say that I noticed there was a problem.

I wish I could say that anyone noticed there was a problem.

But, I can't.

She had always been so alive; her eyes were filled with the type of joy that could not be abated by even the worst of days. She was contagious- her laugh, her smile, her buoyant spirit. It was hard to feel troubled around her. So, when her laughs became less plentiful and her smile less bright and her once lively spirit dulled, it was apparent that something was wrong.

I barely realized at first. I couldn't exactly pinpoint what had changed, but I noticed a shift like no other. She stared into nothingness far too often, lost in a world that no one but her could visit. Her face, once brimming with energy and content, turned morose under the heavy burden of her mind. She became so focused on the aspects of herself she detested that she had forgotten how truly remarkable she was. She did all she could to hide these imperfections but, the only thing that remained hidden was herself.

Once it began, there was not much I could do to stop it. The pounds dropped quickly, too quickly, as if they were being ripped from her body piece by piece, taking parts of her heart with them. Her weight and unrelenting passion were not the only things lost in the crossfire between her mind and soul. No- that would have been too easy. It took her confidence. It took her vivacity. It took her happiness.

Expressing her emotions proved to be difficult. When she decided to explain all that was happening, it noticeably affected her. Her thin hands shook. Her soft voice wavered. Her vacant eyes darted around the room in an effort to avoid mine. As she spoke, it was clear that her thoughts were muddled; each sentence was faltered and rushed as if she had to painfully extract them. Although it was agonizing to hear this, I listened. Unfortunately that was the only thing I could do. I couldn't take it away and I couldn't destroy it. I could only be there for her through the good, the bad, and the downright dreadful.

It is an eating disorder, a parasite, that made it nearly impossible for her to live her life. She had a disease; one so consuming that it is known to affect one's mind in addition to their body. In the U.S. alone, eating disorders affects about 30 million men and women, making them one of the most lethal mental disorders. Although their prevalence is evident throughout our society, the perpetual stigmatization of those with eating disorders remains constant. These disorders are viewed as a means of weight loss and as mere schemes to receive attention. Clearly, this is false. What many people fail to realize is that eating disorders are characterized by so much more than just being "too thin." They come in various forms, such as bulimia, anorexia, binge-eating and Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, or EDNOS.

As Eating Disorder Awareness Week comes to a close, we must remember that suffering is not always obvious. These illnesses are mental disorders with physical side effects. They are not a simple diet. They are not a choice. They are not adjectives.

Eating disorders are just that: disorders.