For me it started out slow. I was just more nervous than I used to get about things. I used to be able to stand in front of a class and be just fine. All of a sudden it made me nervous because I was certain that I was going to mess something up. I used to walk into a room confidently but suddenly when I would walk into a room, I felt like everyone was picking me apart in their brains. When it first began I just brushed it off. I immediately told myself that I was just being ridiculous and over thinking. I would take a few deep breaths and walk into a room without a care, but somewhere deep in the back of my brain I was freaking out.

As it progressed I just pushed it away. I had so many things to think about and being a little nervous was not one of them. There was school work, friends, when I was going to take my next nap and so many other things to preoccupy my mind with. It wasn't until one night when I was sitting with one of my friends in a room with a bunch of other people and I kept on twirling my phone and playing with my hair because I was so nervous that I really realized I might have a problem. None of us were doing anything and I couldn't sit still because I was so nervous. My friend even commented on it and I just shook it off and told him that I was just having a little anxiety lately and that it was nothing. But it wasn't nothing.

Panic. I don't even have the words to describe it other than sheer panic. One minute you're sitting there and the next you start thinking and your mind goes off on a one lane road and you're unable to turn around. I could feel the panic attacks coming on because it was anxiety like I had never felt before. When they happen you're just supposed to slow down and try to breathe but it's incredibly hard. The only thing that was rolling through my brain was "I need to get out. I need to get out. I need to get out." Wherever I was at that moment it just didn't feel safe. But you can't move because your body locks up, you're in tears and you can't breathe. It's terrifying and the fact that it's so scary gives you more anxiety.

It was after the first panic attack when I really started noticing a difference in myself. I would wake up in the morning and be terrified to walk to class in case I saw someone I didn't want to see or talk to. I would sit in French class, one of my favorites and a part of my two majors, and be overcome with anxiety for no reason. I'm sure that no one noticed but in my head I was counting my breaths trying to calm down and breathe. My family and friends pushed me to go see the school's counselor and I went and she taught me some breathing techniques that were incredibly helpful. I found the root of my anxiety and what had caused it so suddenly and I worked past it.

It's incredibly easy to hide being uneasy. Once you get past that initial scariness and you learn how to work through the panic you can go about your daily life and not one person could think that girl looks so nervous. But sometimes it's still hard. It just hits me for no reason. I'll be working and have this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is going to happen to me. Or I'll be laying in my bed and just not feel safe.

Your mental health is one of the most important things. It affects how your entire day goes and if you're having an off day it's incredibly terrible. Although my anxiety is not as bad as some people's and although I don't struggle nearly as bad as I used to, it's still a big part of me and my day. Having some anxiety is normal, having anxiety all the time is not.

Get help, talk to someone and work it out because there is so much life to live and when you can't see through the pain, know that there is a world of possibilites out there waiting for you.