"Oh, sometimes I just don’t know.” My grandmother, who I lovingly refer to as Mimi, sets down one of the pill bottles she was examining on the table in front of us, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

It is the summer of 2015. I am helping my Mimi sort her pills in a pill box so that they are ready for her to take during the week. Lined up in front of us are a plethora of medications waiting to be sorted.

It’s one of my last summer vacations and instead of working, my parents have assigned me the task of embracing my inner Sherlock Holmes to investigate the health of my grandparents. My grandparents’ health was declining at the time—not enough to be life-threatening but enough to be concerning. The problem: my grandparents still viewed my parents as kids and did not take them seriously enough to inform them what was going on with their health. Enter me.

I pick up the pill bottle my Mimi had just set down. “Mimi,” I ask, “who is this doctor?” She looks up at me, a clueless expression on her face. “Oh, he’s the doctor who…specializes in the field.” She looks at me hopefully, as if I have the answer she seeks.

While I didn’t have the answer that day, it got me thinking, Why is my family not more involved in my grandparents’ health care? If my Mimi is having trouble keeping track of her doctors and what they are telling her, shouldn’t my family and I feel some sense of duty to step in and help?

And why don’t we? Is it logistical? Do we not have the time to take off work to attend the many doctor appointments my grandparents are requiring as they get older? Are there even any family members left in the area to help attend to my grandparents’ needs? Or is it more personal? Or is it just none of our business?

As the population who was born prior to and during the Baby Boomer era is aging, more individualized, long term health care will be necessary. More individualized health care also means higher healthcare costs. Healthcare related costs for the rest of a 65-year old’s life totals to around $90,000. This does not even include the cost of any additional long term care services such as Hospice.

So, what does long term care entail? Is it writing a check? Or is it something more in depth? One thing is for sure. The answer is never simple.

While some of the elderly need help in regard to receiving the proper medical treatment, they also need help with more basic tasks. These tasks, while they may seem basic for us are monumental for some of the elderly. Tasks such as eating, cleaning themselves, going to the bathroom, grocery shopping, and getting from place to place (whether it be within their own home or to another destination) are a constant and daily struggle for up to 12 million elderly Americans.

It doesn’t appear that the struggles surrounding health care decisions will cease anytime soon, especially when those decisions involve the ones we love. When my Mimi found out that I was assigned to investigate the status of my grandparents’ health, she was not happy. Hurt and indignation clouded her face. Despite this rocky discovery, it inadvertently started a conversation between my grandparents and my parents about my grandparents’ health.

Unfortunately, there are no right answers. Some of the population who was born prior to and during the Baby Boomer era are slowly losing their health and their independence as they become more dependent on nursing homes and health care professionals. Driving themselves places is becoming a luxury. To this day, if my parents wish to take a more active role in my grandparents’ healthcare needs, they must do so covertly and strategically as my grandparents cling to their independence, not desiring help from anyone.

Despite this, shouldn’t families be more assertive in their approach to their elderly family members’ health care needs? Sometimes I just don’t know.