In our culture, many things have become taboo to talk about. Things like drug addiction, alcohol use, and periods are often spoken about in hushed tones for fear of being overheard or judged. Another topic subjected to red faces and quiet voices is sex education. I grew up in a Christian home and hold my faith very near my heart, but sex has never been a taboo topic in my home. My parents- especially my mom- always welcomed conversation and questions because it meant that I would have a better understanding of a sexual relationship when it came time to have one. Not only do I think that this environment was helpful in being knowledgeable about being safe, but it also has made me feel like I don’t have to act secretly.

I have been subjected to sex education since fourth grade. In the early days, girls and boys were separated and taught about their body’s changes throughout puberty and the “birds and the bees” (I vividly remember the Cabbage Patch doll that was used to point things out). As we progressed into middle school, we were kept in the same room and squirmed uncomfortably as we looked at the statistics about teen pregnancy and STD contraction. Once high school came, it was much of the same information and the constant pounding into our minds that the only way to keep ourselves completely clean was abstinence.

At a younger age, I didn’t question it. But, as I’ve grown up and become more aware of the world around me, I’ve realized how inadequate this kind of sex education is. The truth of the matter is, if someone wants to engage in sexual activity, they will. That decision is an extremely personal one and the process of making that decision is treated as such- personally. So, instead of unsuccessfully scaring kids into not having sex, why aren’t we teaching them that if they choose to, there’s methods to doing it safely (especially after a positive correlation between comprehensive sex ed and safe sex has been established)?

Comprehensive sex education (sometimes referred to as progressive sex education) is defined as age-appropriate, medically accurate information on a broad set of topics related to sexuality including human development, relationships, decision making, abstinence, contraception, and disease prevention. I decided to research the issue and was surprised that many Americans think the same as I do. Here are some of the things I found:

Only about 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex.

Yes, you read that number right. Three percent of Americans maintain abstinence. In the 1950s, arguably a more conservative time, only about 11% of Americans waited until marriage to engage in sexual intercourse. Abstinence is an important talking point in sex ed, because some people might not know that it is a viable option. However, it shouldn't be the only focus, because the choice to have sex is one that an individual should be able to make for themselves, so knowing their options when they decide it is time is extremely important.

In 2011-2013, more than 80% of adolescents aged 15–19 had received formal instruction about STDs, HIV or how to say no to sex.

In contrast, only 55% of young men and 60% of young women received formal education about birth control. They were taught how to avoid sex and the dangers of having sex, but not how to do so safely. Additionally, the share of adolescent females receiving formal instruction about how to say no to sex but receiving no instruction about birth control methods increased from 22% to 26% between 2011 and 2013. The share of adolescent males receiving similar instruction also increased during this time period, from 29% to 35%. Unsurprisingly, the United States has one of the highest teen birth rates (about 14/1,000 teen girls). In contrast, most of Europe boasts an extremely low teen birth rate, at about 5 girls/1,000. The difference? European sex education focuses less on the dangers of sex and more on safe sex, causing teens to be less likely to be secretive or unsafe in their sexual relationships.

Thirteen states require that the information presented in sex and HIV education classes be medically accurate.

Yes, you read that number right too. 13/50, so 26% of states, require that the information taught in sex education courses be medically accurate. That means that potentially 74% of American students are receiving medically inaccurate information about sex, whether it be about STDs, contraception, or contracting HIV.

So, now that we know this information, what are we going to do with it? First off, understanding that it is a problem is extremely important. As I have said, abstinence should be taught, but it should not be the only focus of sexual education. (Contraception, methods for safe sex, and attributes of a healthy relationship are also extremely important talking points.) The time of someone's first sexual encounter is their decision and chances are that they will attribute that to their partner, their faith, and/or themselves, not something someone told them while holding a Cabbage Patch doll in one hand and a ruler in the other.

Secondly, the change actually needs to be made. If the problem is clear, we need to make it known that it needs to be addressed. Sending a letter to a school district, a community representative, or just talking about it will create the change.

Third, start the conversation. If you feel like comprehensive sex education hasn't been discussed in your relationship, talk about it! Maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself and with others is extremely important, especially if it involves getting intimate.

What are your thoughts on making the change to a comprehensive sex education?

Resources:

1) What the Research Says: Comprehensive Sex Education; SIECUS

2) American Teens' Sources of Sexual Health Education; Guttmacher Institute