Selling Yourself Short

Selling Yourself Short

You are worth more than you give yourself credit for.
3
views

This summer, I think I grew up quite a bit. Before, if asked to describe myself, I would probably name an entire list of negatives before getting to a single positive thought. While I still lack the confidence I wish I had, I’ve learned to love myself and appreciate what I have to offer. If you read my article from last week, you’ll remember that I told a certain guy that I had been crushing on him. When things didn’t work out, it became such a natural intuition for me to think so negatively on myself for why he couldn’t and wouldn’t like me back. I sold myself short.

I have a friend who I have seen the same conflict in recently. While it is something I knew she always struggled with, this year, it has become so blatantly obvious that I can’t sit back and watch anymore. If you asked me to describe her, here is what I would say: pretty, doesn’t need makeup, winning personality, kind heart, honest, intelligent, and the list continues. Now, here are some things I have heard her mention about herself: big, large legs, bad morals/ways, introverted. Guess what? She is selling herself short.

Are you catching onto the pattern here? I sure hope so.

For you gentlemen out there reading this, I will throw in an example from one of my best guy friends. Recently, he has struggled with his own inner conflicts. Some of the ways he would describe himself include: awkward, lanky, not-so-muscular, mean, blunt, not relatable, over-talkative. Here’s how I see him: generous, loving, listening, knowledgeable, funny, friendly, inviting, and honestly, I could go on forever.

The truth is, we don’t think so highly of ourselves sometimes. Think of yourself as a shirt in a store. Say your price tag is $100. After an hour, you are still sitting on the rack while the neighboring shirts have been picked over. Eventually, you are taken to the sale rack and degraded to maybe $20. Sometimes we treat ourselves like that. We think we aren’t worth as much as we truly are, so we sell ourselves short and take what we can get.

To the friends I have mentioned and to anyone else out there facing this problem, know your worth. Otherwise, we find ourselves in situations we don’t want to be in. We find ourselves at parties we didn’t want to come to, but we wanted to have friends for a night. We try alcohol and drugs and we have sex because we want to fit in, feel admired and be loved by someone. We know in our minds that the affection we feel at that moment is not the same affection we will feel in the morning, but we do it anyways as a passage to escape our own insecurities.

One of my favorite quotes is:

“When you realize how much you are worth, you will stop giving people discounts.”

This is so true. Start figuring out what kind of people and things you want to be around and do it. If you don’t like drinking, don’t drink. Honestly, my roommate and I like to celebrate Friday nights with games and pizza that we can’t afford. Do what you like and be okay with it. If you don’t like what someone else is doing, you don’t need to do it to be accepted. In all honesty, you are just trying to be accepted into a crowd that you weren’t meant to be in. It is okay to be different, and it is okay to stand up and be who you really are without social approval.

Stop selling yourself short, because you are incredible.

Cover Image Credit: Adrianna Roberts

Popular Right Now

To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
25331
views

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

To The Girls Who Have Doubts About Their Worth

You can do so much more than you know!

106
views

I won't say I'm a professional at this, but it is a frequent state of mind. I think that's just something we all go through. Whether it be during high school, college, or even later. There's a small part of your brain that whispers, "You don't deserve this" or "You're not good enough." And despite all of your accomplishments and how far you've come, you believe it. It's not your fault, it's none of ours, it's just something that makes us second guess everything about ourselves. It's not intentional, it just happens. Sometimes even without us knowing it. So, this article is for you all. I hope it helps.

This past semester has been the best one of my three years of college. I got the best grades, the highest GPA, and I actually enjoyed myself. I am in my major classes, and it really made me proud that I made the scary switch. I am in a much better place and I am so thankful. I am changing apartments next year and living in the same complex as three of my best friends. I am going to get a job and enjoy my senior year. So, despite having all of these amazing things in my life, there is still a sliver of doubt that I don't deserve it. Since I found my passion, I'm not allowed to have two fantastic internships or a summer job. Or time next semester to enjoy my college career. And it doesn't matter how many times my mom reassures me that I'm doing great or my friends tell me that this is the happiest they've seen me, I still have this doubt.

My advice for dealing with the negative thoughts is this: tune them out. Say f*** it, and just do your thing.

All you can do is better yourself and your future. Take risks and do something that you actually enjoy. I didn't realize how much I hated business until I switched to journalism. Even a small change like that has really turned my entire life around. I have met so many fun and awesome people that I now call my friends because of this switch. It's OK to be nervous but take that leap of faith. Trust yourself. You are capable of so much more than you let yourself believe. As long as you are safe and careful, make things happen. Apply for that job. Get that tattoo. Do what makes you happy. Because that's all any of us want. We all want to be happy, and if you can do that, you can do anything.

Yes, putting yourself out into the world is super scary. But it's worth it when it matters and it's something you want to do. You are worth so much more than you are aware of, and that stupid, little voice in the back of your head should be your motivation. It should push you to become the best version of yourself you can be. Don't let it hold you back, let it push you forward. You don't want to miss out on awesome opportunities because of that stupid voice, right? Right! So, just tell that voice, "Give it your best shot" because you just use that voice to motivate yourself to do the best you can. Nothing should hold you back, even that little voice, because, you can move mountains and change the world.

Related Content

Facebook Comments