Now when I say selfish, I do not mean it in the malicious, stereotypical way that people normally think of when they hear the word. I don't think that living a life of never helping someone and always putting yourself before anyone is any life to live. But I also think living a life where you always put others before yourself can be very destructive to your personal health.
When I say that it's okay to be selfish I mean that it is okay to say no when you know you've reached your limit- even if you want to help that person. You should still say yes whenever you can to help someone. But it does not make you a bad person to say no every once in awhile. If you know that you have something, or multiple things that you need to do that will affect your life, then it is okay to not be able to say yes to everyone that comes to you for help with something.
There will be times in your life that you have little to no problems with things that you need to maintain and take care of in your life, and you will be able to help everyone that comes to you for help or advice. Take advantage of that, help everyone you can with big and small problems. Because there will be times in your life that you have things on your plate that needs to be done to bring yourself back up, and you cannot say yes to people, as much as you want to. You have to be selfish in those times so you will not break and become unstable. If you are unstable it will become harder to help other people because you will not be in a right state of mind.
So if you are a selfless person, do not forget that it is okay to be selfish sometimes. Take that new job, even if it does require you to move. If it will make you happy and successful, then nothing else should matter because you will be able to help people more from your success, even if you are father away from the ones that you want to help. Confide in the people that you have helped before. If you trust them, and they care for you as much as you do them, they will want to help you as you have for them. Give yourself a day where you are only with yourself, or catching up with an old friend. Whether it involves going out and doing little tasks you have been putting off, lying around all day eating junk food and watching Netflix, or going out for lunch or buying yourself a new outfit. Little splurges are okay as long as they are not a constant occurrence.
So as much as you love to help other people, don't forget to help yourself. Love and care for yourself as much as you love and care for others. And don't ever feel bad about it.
