From a very young age and all throughout adulthood, girls are conditioned to believe that their worth stems directly from their outward appearance. Think about it. Advertisers freely use feminine sexuality and beauty as a gimmick. The geeky rom-com protagonist is only able to garner attention after taking off her glasses and fixing up her hair and walking into the prom in a well-fitting dress. Barbie is not only successful in her career and in her relationships, but she is also enviously stylish and conventionally beautiful. Beauty is also seen as being polarizing; a woman can either be beautiful and dumb, or unattractive and intelligent. If a woman is both good looking and intelligent, there must be a mistake, right? Or, on the other end, a woman must be both beautiful and intelligent, because ideally, success is nothing without good looks.
By being exposed to this kind of culture, women are led to believe that the majority of their future successes hinge upon their physical appearance instead of their talents, personality traits or credentials. This kind of culture also perpetuates low self-confidence and unrealistic beauty standards. We wonder why there are so many young girls developing body dysmorphia and eating disorders, but we still push these unfair expectations of beauty on girls from the moment they emerge from the womb. There's nothing wrong with encouraging people to look their best and to be hygienic and that first impressions and appearance do truly matter. However, people need to be reminded that looks aren't everything and that individual worth is comprised of many other factors.
While unrealistic beauty standards and society's persecution of those who don't fit them have led to a multitude of problems for women (and men, too), people are beginning to discover that confidence begins with oneself and isn't necessarily dependent on the opinions of others. We're raised with the concept that our appearance is meant to attract others and elicit a positive response from those around us. However, what about finding ourselves attractive? Does the opinion and praise of others even matter, if we are unable to praise ourselves? Interestingly enough, the same women who are conditioned to believe that their worth is based on their beauty are harshly criticized for any celebration of their appearance. Yes, a woman is supposed be beautiful, but the minute that she begins to gain confidence, she's self-obsessed. If she's complimented, she's supposed to bashfully accept, not boldly agree. Even though body positivity and self-confidence are currently en vogue, self-love is still seen as narcissism, and the appreciation of one's own beauty is seen as indulgent and superficial.
I love selfies. I have tons of them on my phone, and most of the time I don't feel the need to share them or post them. I simply like taking flattering photos of myself on days where I feel put together. Sure, I might only look that way in certain lighting or with certain filters, but selfies aren't necessarily meant to be accurate or realistic representations of us as people. Selfies reflect our favorite parts of ourselves and our best days. They help build confidence by teaching us to embrace our individuality and our flaws. They allow us to capture our happiest moments and important experiences by giving us the freedom to capture our memories in ways that we are satisfied with. Selfies represent the nicest and most flattering versions of ourselves, and I think that's a fantastic and empowering thing.
Why is self-love viewed so negatively? Why can't I snap a flattering photo of myself on a day where I'm feeling particularly attractive? If we can take photographs of sunsets and mountains and art, why is it so bad to take photographs of ourselves? Are we not all works of art in our own right? I think it's nice to be confident and feel pride in my appearance. Personally, I feel as if my opinion of myself is much more important than the opinions of others. It's an important thing to be able to look at oneself and say, "Wow, I'm really beautiful!" It's equally as important to look at yourself and say, "Gee, I'm talented and kind and intelligent!" It's not narcissistic to be nice to yourself.
Selfies, along with the body-positivity movement as a whole, allow women to take oppressive beauty standards and make them something self-empowering. Selfie culture allows us the freedom to feel beautiful in whichever way we want to and, as a result, builds confidence. Instead of concentrating so intently on meeting the standards of society, women are learning to strive to meet standards for themselves. If you feel beautiful, you are beautiful. So, ladies, embrace your best angles, find that perfect lighting and take pictures of yourself that you feel beautiful in. Here's to being "narcissistic!"
