Because I Practice Self-Care, I Know I'm A Better Person To Not Only Myself But People Around Me

Because I Practice Self-Care, I Know I'm A Better Person To Not Only Myself But People Around Me

I practice a self-care routine about once a week and I know that because I loved myself first, I can love others better.

From as early as I can remember, I've always loved nights spent alone and in my room. I always feel invigorated by the space and time I have to myself to do what's best for me, which can be catching up on some videos that spark creativity or reading some books that I need to finish.

As a person who is very busy and lives by the schedule in her planner, it's important for me to take a night to myself to refresh and recollect my thoughts from the many tasks and issues over the course of a week or two. Some nights, this means just laying in bed and watching a movie, and other nights, it's practicing a ritual of self-care techniques.

Lately, I've found myself to become overwhelmed quicker than usual, and although I attribute this shortcoming to the recent semester that caused me more stress than I've ever experienced in my whole life, I am now choosing to care for my mind, which clearly needs more love during this time.

Tied to this feeling of being overwhelmed, I notice that I've become more short-tempered with my boyfriend over silly remarks or mistakes. After finding myself extra irritable today, I knew it was time to take a time to reflect on myself and recollect my senses that seem to be falling apart. Because he already had plans for the night, I knew it was the perfect time to spend the night alone and not go out with my own friends.

If I'm not loving myself, I know I can't love others well. So I took the night to recharge, and this is what I did:

First, I changed into clothes that I felt my most comfortable in. It was a hot summer day in Florida so I was eager to get out of my jeans and throw on light dress. After getting changed, I put on the Refinery29 YouTube channel so I can feel inspired by other women as I begin to declutter not only my room but my mind.

When I know I have a lot to do, my mind becomes very jumbled and overwhelmed, so to combat this issue, I live by my planner and to-do list. After watching some videos having to do with spring cleaning my agenda, I got to work. I organized my week by tasks ascending by time, and in some cases, priority. If I knew it could be missed, I put it at the bottom so if I didn't end up getting to it, I wouldn't feel like my whole day was thrown off. It was the last thing to do so if I missed it, who cares? I can close my book today anyway.

After that, I pulled out my summer clothes from the bin beneath my bed and started sifting through the articles of clothing. As I was looking, I realized that a lot of what I was seeing wasn't making me feel happy. I wasn't excited to see the clothing and most of them certainly weren't going to make me feel confident in myself.

One of the best questions I ask myself when I go through my closet is, "If I saw this piece of clothing at the store today, would I buy it?" If the answer is a no, I throw it in the Good Will bag. If the answer is a yes, I throw it in my hamper to get a wash before I wear it again. If you don't feel like something is enriching your life, get rid of it.

When I completed the task, I through the clothes in my hamper into the washer and marked the task off on my to-do list. My next task might seem funny, but it was to disconnect from the internet and do some reading.

One of the best ways to make me feel empowered is to take some time to myself and read a new magazine I bought or continue working on a book. Tonight, I finished up reading Darling Magazine issue No. 19. A reason why I personally love reading the publication is that of its ability to make me feel like a strong woman because I just read stories of other strong women. Through the photography that embraces different styles and models of all body types, the writing that details perseverance and empowerment, and illustration that is utterly intriguing, reading the magazine is like reading a piece of art.

After finishing up the issue, I switched over my laundry, grabbed myself a glass of white wine, and started writing down some of my creative ideas in my journal. One of the best parts of reading about others' creativity is being able to feel their energy and start generating your own. As a writer, I'm in constant need of inspiration, otherwise, I get stuck in a stagnant lull of lack of topics and passion.

Finally, after that fuel of energy, I'm here now, writing this article for you in hopes of helping you through any lack of enthusiasm and stimulus. For me, whenever I feel creatively stuck, I look to other people to remind me of humanity and what's truly important, and sometimes, it's just the reminder that you need to love yourself and do it to your need.

Some girls practice self-love by spending time with their loved ones, others do some retail therapy and have a day of pampering. I feel my best when I recharge my brain with inspiration to help sift out any negative thoughts and stressors.

Because I take usually a night a week to work on myself, I know I can care for others better after caring for myself first. By caring for my mind and wellbeing, I can let go of the focus on me and give it to others who really need my love and support.

If you are someone who struggles with mental imbalance, finding a self-care routine that best fits you is more important than words can describe. Choose a specific day a week to attend a yoga class. Get your nails done once every couple weeks as a day of pampering. Go to the movies alone to see the movie you thought looked good that no one else really cared to see (I just did this the other week and I truly feel rejuvenated).

Don't stop yourself from doing the things that make you you so that you can spend more time with other people. If you want to go to a food place that no one else wants to try, go alone! I promise, no one is going to judge you. People are too worried about themselves to even think anything bad about you choosing to grab a meal alone. What I'm trying to say is, don't deprive yourself of things that make you happy because you fear being judged by strangers or by friends and family.

Do what's best for you and love yourself the best way you know how.

Cover Image Credit: Kinga Cichewicz

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These Are 4 Proven Ways That Vaccines Cause Autism

Stock up on those essential oils.


Let's just start with the first (and main) point.

1. They don't.

Susan in your anti-vax group is not a scholarly source (despite her hours and hours of Google research).

2. But in case you still believe Susan...

Maybe you'll believe Autism Speaks who says, "Scientists have conducted extensive research over the last two decades to determine whether there is any link between childhood vaccinations and autism. The results of this research is clear: Vaccines do not cause autism."

3. And if Autism Speaks still didn't convince you...

Feel free to take a look at this comprehensive list of studies that all say that there is no relationship between vaccines such as the MMR vaccination and the development of autism.

4. But here's what you should know...

There have been a few studies lately that have shown that autism develops in utero aka before a baby is even born AND before a baby can even receive vaccinations.

Vaccinations have prevented COUNTLESS deaths and illnesses. Vaccination rates are continuing to fall and do you know what that means? Measles will make its way back. Whooping cough will come back. Rubella, mumps, and polio will come back and there will be no way to stop it.

So, now that you know that vaccines do not cause autism, you're welcome to go tell Susan from your anti-vax group that as well as tell her that the Earth isn't flat. But, don't forget to mention it to her that her essential oils and organic foods are not keeping her children safe from the measles or tuberculosis.

Vaccinate your children. And, besides, even IF vaccinations caused autism, wouldn't you rather have a child with a developmental disorder rather than a child who died from the measles?

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Being Ugly

What it means to me


Due to a series of ongoing events throughout my semester, I've reconsidered what it means for someone to truly be ugly. Though it is often used in terms of appearance, I do not see it as such-- now more than ever. Ugliness runs deeper than appearance-- it runs within one's soul and festers into other areas of one's life, particularly in their treatment of others.

I view ugliness as someone's conscious capacity and implementation of malice. Taking time and energy out of your day to hurt someone else, that's what I view as ugly. Some offenses are more minor than others, however, it is still a conscious effort to hurt or affect someone else negatively-- and that's the source of the problem. I truly wonder what causes that sort of behavior in someone, as I, along with most people, simply do not invest time or energy into hating or plotting against others. It seems like a full-time job.

I can theorize all sorts of reasons as to why someone would act this way: hate, jealousy, vengeance, etc. Yet, all of these reasons don't hit the root reason. It almost seems that some people are just innately ugly in their soul. This alludes to the timeless debate of whether one's personality is due to nature or nurture. Again, although our surroundings and environment do have a large effect in our behavior, that alibi only goes so far when multiple people are placed in the same environment, in the same situation, and only some are willing to cross moral boundaries in order to hurt the others. Just because an environment applies pressure to people, does not mean everyone is going to act out in malice, and it certainly does not give everyone an excuse to do so. Some people are simply conniving and, well, ugly inside.

If you have ever encountered people like this, I know from personal experience that it is such a drag. You have an enemy, essentially, whether you chose to or not, however based on their hatred towards you, they are now considered an enemy, a hater, and any other associated term. Know that they will do anything in their power to bring you down, even if it requires bending the truth and creating elaborate schemes, but you have to keep on doing you. Let them obsess over ways to bring you down. At the end of the day, their time and energy is being invested into bringing you down, while yours is being used to build yourself up. They will fall by default. So, keep your head high, act in grace, and make your money. They can sip on their Haterade and watch from below.

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