First off, what the heck is an INFJ?
For those of you who aren't familiar with the letters, they are a part of the Myers-Briggs personality system. There is a test you can take here to determine which of the 16 personality types you are. It delves deeper into extroverts and introverts.
Are you a thinker or feeler? Are you both? Now this may seem like some silly parlor trick, but I and many others have found this branch of soft science to be fairly accurate. Of course, finding out the results of my personality type doesn't rule my life and it shouldn't rule yours either, but it has helped me understand myself a little better. It helps answer that age-old "Who am I?" question.
We can easily feel other people's emotions.
To start, I am the INFJ personality type. These letters stand for Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, and Judging. This type is the rarest of the 16 personalities and makes up one percent of the world.
All of the research I have done on the subject agrees that the reason for this is that INFjs have a profound ability to absorb other people's emotions. When I discovered this, I felt like a puzzle piece of myself fell into place. I had always felt a bit out of place for being so emotional, and others were quick to let me know it.
I didn't realize that I was able to access emotions easier than other people; I genuinely believed I was some kind of wimp. After reading this, I started observing more than usual. I found that around family and friends (even with books and television), my mood could flip as fast as a coin if someone was upset or happy. I absorb others' emotions.
We are incredibly genuine and empathetic.
Our entire personality type is centered around being able to access emotions like a book on a shelf, and this leaves little room for ulterior motives. We are natural people pleasers, which is both a strength and our Achilles' heel. We want so badly to help other people and make them happy, that it actually hurts to think that we've done anything but help them.
Confrontation is daunting, but when it happens, it's typically a last resort, or if we're fighting for something we're passionate about. Perhaps we're sensitive, but rest assured we are genuine.
We crave intimacy, but many relationships are one-sided.
An INFJ gives 110 percent toward relationships (both romantic and friendly), but usually don't find this reciprocated. This one-sided kind of love can leave us feeling like something is missing. It might actually be one of the hardest parts of being us. All we want is to be treated, appreciated and loved the way we do others.
We have amazing intuition.
Everyone is different, but an INFJ's intuition is higher than most. This most likely has something to do with our ability to sense emotions. Many individuals of this type have reported feeling a "vibe" from something or someone and typically end up being correct. A few INFJs have even become successful mediums and psychics. Now this certainly isn't me, but I have learned to rely on my gut feeling most of the time.
The majority of the time, it serves me well.
We are naturally creative.
Many people of this type, like myself, are naturally inclined to the arts. Although I wouldn't do it professionally, I find expressing myself in art takes me to a much calmer place. I can be spitting angry, but I can sit down for hours painting, and the focus allows my head to quiet down.
Most INFJs also report being able to express themselves best through writing rather than talking. I can't speak for everyone, but I come across as some kind of inarticulate idiot when talking. However, when I sit down and write, everything falls into place.
We are true introverts.
We can often come across as extroverts when comfortable enough with friends and family. I've come to a place that, as I like to put it, I can switch off and on. The world belongs to the extroverts right now. Between interviews, class presentations, jobs, making friends, etc., introverts struggle to fit in with these kinds of environments.
However, this doesn't mean we can't.
Although we prefer a smaller group of friends, we are chameleons. It's part of being able to access our abilities and wanting to please people. We aren't kiss-ups, but call it survival. I can go from discussing the meaning of the universe with one friend to fan-girling over boy bands with another. It's the gift of being able to befriend anyone.
We may be quiet, but our mind is loud.
It isn't uncommon for us to be quickly typecast as quiet and shy. The truth is: we are great listeners and observers.
We are quiet because we don't talk without having something to say.
We are quiet because we are listening to you and watching everything that is going on.
I know that for me, my mind is usually going in multiple directions at once and is hardly ever quiet. The reason it takes me so long to fall asleep is because my mind won't settle down. I turn into that inarticulate idiot when I feel rushed to say something and I don't have time to think before speaking. Believe me, we may seem quiet and shy, but we have a lot to say once we feel comfortable enough to do so.
