While there are a variety of reasons and circumstances to send your child to boarding school, from behavioral problems to unsafe home environments, it will fundamentally change a child’s mental health. The real question is not where to send children to boarding school but instead what age is acceptable? Children under the age of 14 should never be sent to boarding school, only those entering high school are truly mentally capable of handling such changes. Ultimately sending your child away to study, as I was, will demolish any childhood experiences and lead to psychological issues, especially with younger children.
Although boarding school is a challenge, there are many positive outcomes to sending your child away to study. Personally, I could not have received the advanced education that I had if I went to my hometown school district. You learn how to care for yourself, become apart of new and unexpected communities, and develop a unique relationships with teachers. Boarding school is a way to prepare young adults to mature into becoming more responsible, independent, and a better part of society through a structured setting. But it can be very isolating, and is extremely intimidating from the excessive monthly academic assessments. For if your GPA was below a 2.9 you would be asked to leave in front of the entire student body. It is recognized that being sent away from home to study is extremely difficult, but it goes further than that, it redefines a child’s view on acceptable behavior and how they express themselves outside of an academic portfolio.
I have resided in six dormitories confined to roughly 200 sq ft, having to share community bathrooms, and a life of eating cafeteria food. I remember the first day my mother brought me to Fryeburg Academy, where I would spend six years of my life, not nearly old enough to be mentally or emotionally prepared. No longer was my birthday celebrated with family and I only journeyed to the now unfamiliar place I use to call home on the major holidays. Boarding school is a unique experience, but for young children it is detrimental to their psychological growth. For I was pushed into becoming independent in a cold and extremely stressful environment. Instead of having to work through emotional problems or feelings of abandonment that I felt towards my mother, I would instead bury myself in an unhealthy manner in my academic work which was not only supported but encouraged by my boarding school.
Not only is my own personal experience unique, Joy Schaverien, who wrote the book Boarding School Syndrome, shares similar views that “being sent away for an education can be seriously damaging for a student’s mental health”. This is due to the impersonal environment at boarding school; unlike regular schooling you never get to escape from the discipline of being a student. Your teachers are you dorm parents and there is no one there to cater to your emotional needs that you would expect a young child to have.
Growing up and maturing away from home, and having to do so at the age of 11 has changed who I am, not only as a student but as a daughter, friend, and human being.These psychological issues stem from how “everything is regimented. It’s the abandonment of the very young”, according to Schaverien.
I believe everyone, if given the opportunity, should attend boarding school for it gives you independence and freedom that you would not find in a traditional school setting. However, children younger than 14, should remain at home until they are more developed to handle the psychological abandonment. As Amanda Lynch eloquently states “teachers, however good they may be, cannot supply that needed love”. My mother decided that boarding school was a necessary option for me to receive a better education, so I never got to the opportunity to ask her to rethink her decision. Parents who are considering sending their children away to study need to prioritize mental health over academic success.
