Over the last year, I have encountered too many people who are willing to allow people to treat them badly, and it always makes me wonder if I should have allowed the people that I have cut out of my life to "mature" or "figure things out." The only answer that I can come up with is no because I don't believe there is any reason at all for people to be in my life that don't value the time they have, with me or with life in general. I don't believe there is any reason for someone to treat me poorly over and over again and get away with it, and I am not sorry that I got rid of toxic friends, boyfriends, and even "family members."
There is nothing more upsetting than when someone doesn't respect that I have cut these people out of my life for a reason. They don't need to know what I am doing, they don't need to see my success, I will not listen to their apologies over and over or "give them another chance." I hear too often that I "used to be more forgiving" or "I used to allow people to make mistakes" and I am still that same person. But I don't allow it to the point where they break me.
I don't allow people to make me question myself anymore. I allow the people in my life to have their bad days and be human. Everyone makes mistakes or misinterprets situations sometimes, but I don't allow someone to make the same mistake 80 or 90 times when they know it negatively impacts our relationship. I do not allow people to use "I'm Sorry," when they repeatedly hurt me. I am not sorry for deciding to stop allowing these people to break my heart more times than I can count.
I don't hold onto relationships where I am the only one putting in the effort anymore. If you are treating me like you don't really need me in your life I won't stick around. I don't have to keep wishing I was included with people who don't want me around. If I am the only one reaching out or trying to make plans, I will stop. I don't have to keep getting hurt because you are too afraid to tell me you have outgrown me. I will not allow myself to look desperate or be sad because you don't want me in your life, I am not sorry for walking away.
I am not sorry that I no longer wonder whether or not my "friends" will invite me to go shopping with them on a random Tuesday, because the people in my life now include me. I am not sorry that I no longer wait for a boy to want to be a part of my life, because if they don't, I know I can walk away. I am not sorry that I have learned that the word "family" is not just defined as people you share blood with, but the people that build you up and help you grow.
I won't apologize for cutting the toxic people out of my life, my successes and growth since I have are greater than I have ever imagined and I am happier now than I have ever been. There is no reason to allow toxic people to keep you down, once you learn that, your life will be better.