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The Constitution For College Roommates That Doesn't Exist But Should

Everyone has the right to life, liberty, and pursuit of a 3.5 GPA.

Brooke Przybylinski

Aug 21, 2018

Pennsylvania State University

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We the college students need to be somewhat civilized with the person (or people) sharing a small space with us. Many of us didn't grow up sharing a room with somebody, so it can be difficult to compromise, share, and occupy the same area. However, through living with others, there are many unspoken rules that arise as a result of having college roommates that should all be compiled into a constitution. After all, this is how we prevent sitting in RA court:

Amendment 1: No roommate should make any rule prohibiting the other(s) to practice their own religion, culture, or own study habits as long as they don't interfere with the other roommate's ability to feel safe and comfortable in the space.

And all roommates have the right to complain if they feel that these practices are interfering with their own comfort in the room.

Amendment 2: In a well-regulated room, all roommates shall have the right to bear their possessions in any way they choose, in any organizational style (or lack thereof) they wish, should their possessions not encroach on the possessions of the other roommate.

All roommates have the right to be messy, but keep your mess on your side of the room and I'll keep my mess on my side of the room. Plain and simple.

Amendment 3: No roommate shall quarter any overnight guests to stay in the room without consent of the other roommates.

Yes, all roommates want to know if you will be sharing a bed with Collin from Tinder on a Sunday night.

Amendment 4: Every roommate has protection against the other roommates unreasonably searching through their possessions. If any roommate wants to seize something from another roommate, they must ask.

Let's face it: we don't want anyone rummaging through our snacks, clothing, or medications without AT LEAST asking first.

Amendment 5: Every roommate has the right to an equal distribution of the space in the room. All roommates have the right to "plead the fifth" to not have to sacrifice their division of space in the room against their own will to satisfy another roommate.

All rooms have invisible boundaries and everybody knows exactly where those boundaries lie. We have to respect them and not cross them or give them up.

Amendment 6: If any roommate makes an accusation against another roommate, the accused roommate has the right to a fair and speedy mediation with an impartial RA on the floor and all of the roommates involved in the conflict.

But we never want to get to this point, so let's just focus on not breaking the unspoken rules of a roommate constitution.

Amendment 7: In roommate relations, if controversy exceeds what could actually be solved, the right of the roommates is preserved to move out.

Of course, if you can't handle a certain living situation, heck, move out! None of us deserve to live with somebody who is spoiling our college experience.

Amendment 8: No roommate shall have cruel or unusual practices that harm the life, liberty, and success of the other roommate(s).

Yes, waking other roommates up early in the morning after they were studying for an exam until 3 A.M. is cruel. Making a dirty and toxic mess out of the room is cruel. Abusing drugs in the room is cruel. Performing X-rated acts in the bed to distract the other roommates is both cruel and unusual. You get the point.

Amendment 9: Every roommate has the right to basic respect and common courtesy from the other roommate. Forms of respect not explicitly stated still apply and such concepts of "respect" vary from room to room.

In other words, there are rules that we don't even need to say because they're just rules for interacting with other people, not only a college roommate.

Amendment 10: The certain rights that vary from room to room are reserved for the roommates to determine. Such rights include bedtime, leaving the lights on or off, noise level, privacy, and general use of the room.

These rules are the toughest because sometimes we all struggle to compromise to struggle both or all of the people living in the room. But the best roommate situations (even if the roommates aren't the best of friends) involve everyone establishing these rules early on. And then all roommates have the best chance at life, liberty, and the pursuit of a 3.5 GPA in college.

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The Constitution For College Roommates That Doesn't Exist But Should

Everyone has the right to life, liberty, and pursuit of a 3.5 GPA.

Amendment 1: No roommate should make any rule prohibiting the other(s) to practice their own religion, culture, or own study habits as long as they don't interfere with the other roommate's ability to feel safe and comfortable in the space.

​​​Amendment 2: In a well-regulated room, all roommates shall have the right to bear their possessions in any way they choose, in any organizational style (or lack thereof) they wish, should their possessions not encroach on the possessions of the other roommate.

Amendment 3: No roommate shall quarter any overnight guests to stay in the room without consent of the other roommates.

​Amendment 4: ​Every roommate has protection against the other roommates unreasonably searching through their possessions. If any roommate wants to seize something from another roommate, they must ask.

Amendment 5: Every roommate has the right to an equal distribution of the space in the room. All roommates have the right to "plead the fifth" to not have to sacrifice their division of space in the room against their own will to satisfy another roommate.

Amendment 6: If any roommate makes an accusation against another roommate, the accused roommate has the right to a fair and speedy mediation with an impartial RA on the floor and all of the roommates involved in the conflict.

Amendment 7: In roommate relations, if controversy exceeds what could actually be solved, the right of the roommates is preserved to move out.

Amendment 8: No roommate shall have cruel or unusual practices that harm the life, liberty, and success of the other roommate(s).

Amendment 9: Every roommate has the right to basic respect and common courtesy from the other roommate. Forms of respect not explicitly stated still apply and such concepts of "respect" vary from room to room.

Amendment 10: The certain rights that vary from room to room are reserved for the roommates to determine. Such rights include bedtime, leaving the lights on or off, noise level, privacy, and general use of the room.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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Amendment 2: In a well-regulated room, all roommates shall have the right to bear their possessions in any way they choose, in any organizational style (or lack thereof) they wish, should their possessions not encroach on the possessions of the other roommate.

Amendment 4: Every roommate has protection against the other roommates unreasonably searching through their possessions. If any roommate wants to seize something from another roommate, they must ask.

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