Responding to Rejection With Confidence
Start writing a post
relationships

Responding To Being 'Left On Read' With Resiliance

I finally understand the whole "ghost" icon. It's a warning sign for the all-too-common ending of getting "ghosted."

188
Responding To Being 'Left On Read' With Resiliance

It always starts the same.

We lock eyes from across the bar, he maneuvers his way over to me, and before I can even convert my carbon dioxide to oxygen, he hits me with the "so what's your Snapchat?"

And it certainly hits. Hard. Like a tsunami of unoriginality and disappointment, further drowning my hope that maybe someone will change my views on the fate of authentic communication.

Welcome to the 21st century, where intimacy is now initiated through Casper on a yellow backdrop. However, in this case, Casper is not so friendly.

I instinctively roll my eyes, because I think, whatever happened to exchanging numbers and having those late-night phone calls that our parents use to tell us about, that now seem only imaginable in a distant galaxy far away from our technologically advanced one? Although I am convinced I was born into the wrong generation, I still go along with the "streak generation" because it's, unfortunately, all I know.

And it always ends the same.

I conform to the "streak" culture, and we snap for a few days. For some obscure reason, I become attached and start to expect his morning coffee and afternoon pizza pictures that disappear in six seconds. However, like clockwork, on the sixth or seventh day of our streak, he pulls a disappearing act on me. I get ghosted.

But what makes this time different?

My reaction.

I learned to trust the timing of my life

Essentially, the majority of people value acceptance over rejection. But in the case of learning experiences as a young adult, every loss leads to a gain, and that's just how the universe works. I now appreciate my "ghostings" because I know it leads me one step closer to discovering the person who appreciates proper communication with me and still values relationships. Everything happens for a reason, a cliché saying for a reason, because it's true. Everything's a learning experience, even something as mundane as a Snapchat left-on-read, particularly to not become overly attached to someone who attempts to initiate intimacy through an app.

"Thank u, next" helped me rewire my brain

With Ariana's help, I now bounce back fast and do not allow a silly disappearing act to dictate my mood or sense of worth. I'm no longer daunted by the self-shaming thoughts of "was it me? Was I trying too hard? Maybe because I stopped using filters on my face?" because it's not, and it's not him, either. It's all about timing. There are endless opportunities to form connections, and, thankfully, I've built up untouchable confidence that makes me respond to rejection with a shrug and a "thank u, next."

I learned to laugh it off

Initially, a man's disappearing acts use to phase me, taking a hard blow to my self-esteem. Now I laugh at their loss, and I finally understand the whole "ghost" icon. It's a warning sign for the all-too-common ending of getting "ghosted." I don't love rejection, but I do love the strong mindset I've created for myself.

So, if you left me "on read" and are reading this, don't worry. You're far out of sight, out of my "streaks," and out of mind. Don't worry about me, because I'm not searching, but waiting for a fellow, old-fashioned soul, who was also born in the wrong generation and still believes in a relationship that doesn't start on a "streak."

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

98922
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments