The hardest thing I ever put myself through was a relationship that wasn't realistic.
First things first, never fall for someone who lives 2,853.6 miles away from you five months out of the year, 82.3 miles away from you for four months, and 35.7 miles away from you for the last month. They say when you're infatuated with someone all common sense seems to fail, and that point has been proven.
In the beginning of this relationship, you won't be worried. You'll be with the other person and you'll say to yourself, "It's not like I'm going to fall for them, I know this can't work." There's your first mistake, thinking you're smart enough to not fall for them. You're then going to want to try and make it work. There's your second mistake. That's okay, this is common. As long as you don't make the third mistake, you're fine. What's the third mistake you ask? The third mistake would be loving the person.
Loving someone you know you can't be with is like trying to fit into your favorite jeans from ninth grade.. don't. In the end, you're just going to be upset that they don't fit, and then pissed you didn't wear them enough while you had the chance.
Don't get me wrong, the times we spent together were amazing, but the hardest thing to do is miss someone. And when you're so far away from each other, that's all you seem to do. When you spend more time apart than you do together, missing them becomes the norm and that should never be the case in a relationship. If I had a dollar for every time we told each other "I miss you" I would have enough money for us to be together all the time.
Even worse than missing the person, is thinking what could have been. You just get so upset thinking about how things would be if the stars were just aligned differently, and distance wasn't an issue. You spend nights making up scenarios of how things could be rather than coming to face with the reality of your relationship.
More than anything, I wish this could have worked out, or at least turned out better. But, distance is hard. It's hard not being able to talk face to face, or hold each other, or kiss each other good night. It's hard to wake up and not know when the next time you're going to see each other is. And it's really hard to sit and wait around for something that you know will never happen.
Being in a relationship with an inevitable end is heart wrenching. It's like a ticking time bomb. You wake up everyday and hope it's not the day where you say to each other, "This isn't going to work, is it?" But that day does come, and it's a tough one.
The last words texted to me were, "Regardless, it's over. It sucks. I will always care about you, and I'm always wishing you the best." And I think that's all you can hope to get out of a relationship with a time limit.
