Having High Standards Doesn't Make You High Maintenance

When I was in high school, the term high-maintenance was thrown around as a way to describe girls who had high demands from their romantic partners. For me, I always considered a high maintenance partner as someone who constantly required maintenance or attention. Constant texting, constant calling, and a constant need to be with and be around their partner. It wasn't until I was called high maintenance that I realized that wasn't how some people viewed high maintenance.

Apparently in modern society, having high relationship standards means you are high maintenance. But why?

When it comes to my relationships, you aren't required to text me 24/7. We don't have to see each other every single day. You also don't have to take care of me or feel like I'm unable to stand on my own two feet without you. I'm a grown woman, I can exist without you. However, in my relationships, I expect equality. I expect respect. Only because I will always treat you as my equal. I will show you respect. I will treat you as you are, my partner. Someone who I have decided to tackle life with. Someone who I will love, and care for, and spoil every single day of your life.

From the moment I decide you're my person, the I decisions become we decisions. I will be the person who will drop what I am doing if you need me. I will show up at your house with your favorite snacks if I know you had a rough day, or your family is going through a rough time. Your siblings, your parents, and your friends are my extended family, if they need something, I will stand by their side through it all, because if they are important to you, they are important to me. For whoever I end up with in life, I expect the same level of treatment. That is what has deemed me high-maintenance.

I think that in today's society, some individuals, specifically women hesitate to speak their mind when it comes to relationships, as they are scared they will seem too needy, or too demanding. So they settle. They exist in these relationships with men who treat them "well enough" instead of "amazing." They have a boyfriend instead of a partner and as a female, I wish that wasn't the case, but it is.

In a relationship, you and your partner should be equal. Understanding compromise, and loving your partner's habits, even if they annoy the life out of you sometimes. A relationship will only work if both people are putting effort into it, and that's not saying that every day will be 50/50 effort. On your bad days, your effort may be 25, and your partner may make up the other 75. On your partners bad day's, they may be 25 and you may make up the other 75. But if every single day you are giving 75 and your partner is giving 25 to make the relationship work, its time to walk away. Male or female, you deserve better than that.

In my opinion, that's not high maintenance, that's just asking for equality. That's asking for respect. But if expecting my relationship to be a mutual partnership is high maintenance, then I guess I'm high maintenance.

Report this Content

More on Odyssey

Facebook Comments