I'll be honest, I have a love-hate relationship with online dating
It's almost always awkward, and most of the time I end up unmatching with a guy after a few days of talking because the conversation goes dry, but for some reason, I'm absolutely addicted to it
Maybe it's the ease at which I can swipe on a guy based on a few simple characteristics, or maybe it's because everyone wants to find love, or maybe I'm just that bored, but, whatever the case, I've had dating apps on my phone from the moment I turned 18 and I haven't looked back since... until this summer.
In June I finally decided to take a break from the constant swiping, and let me tell you that it was amazing
I spent much more time being productive and hanging out with my friends instead of my matches, but now that everyone has gone off to college and I'm home alone, I decided to redownload Tinder. I really wish I could blame the stress of midterms on that poor decision, but I know I was just bored and lonely.
However, since I have broken my hiatus and returned to the world of online dating, I can officially say that men are just as awful they were six months ago
I've learned a few things from this extremely unfortunate experience, so I figured I would share my knowledge in the hopes that somebody can learn from my mistakes and can maybe, just maybe, find love (or at least a decent guy) online. Here are four things I've learned.
1. Even during a pandemic, men still want to fuck, a lot
Yes, ladies, you will be asked to hook up as soon as you download Tinder. It's practically a rite of passage at this point, so I hope you're prepared for the dirty jokes and shameless innuendoes.
If you downloaded Tinder to find a new booty call then you'll be just fine, but if you were hoping to find a nice guy who would like to get to know you before swapping spit, I'd like to inform you that it's going to take quite a lot of swiping before that happens.
I'd recommend getting comfy because you're gonna be on your phone for quite a while before you find "the one".
2. For the love of God, please put your intentions in your bio
People are much more likely to readjust your bio than your full profile, and even then, most people just swipe based on your profile pictures, but on the off chance that someone does read your bio, it's a good idea to say what you're looking for.
Being upfront about what you want is a smart move because whether it's a serious relationship or a one-nightstand, there's nothing more awkward than talking with a guy for days only to find out that he "doesn't do relationships" and "would rather take you out shopping for sex toys than a date" or vice versa.
3. Don't use your matches to feel validated
Trust me when I say that your self-worth is NOT determined by the number of guys who match with you. Getting called gorgeous and beautiful and sexy by random men will not really make you feel better, it's just a temporary fix. Self-love is a tricky skill to hone, but it's one of the most rewarding, and I promise that dating will be much easier once you know and can accept your true self-worth.
You deserve someone who will be able to give you compliments that matter, like ones about your personality and your totally awesome talents. It's going to be very hard to find a solid relationship like that when you're too busy trying to feel validated.
4. Do NOT ignore red flags
This one should be pretty obvious, but I've done my fair share of pushing aside red flags so I figured I should at least try to warn you before you get stood up or receive (yet another) an unsolicited dick pic. If you even remotely feel like a man is ignoring you, playing mind games, gaslighting you, or is just being straight-up rude, do NOT give him your number or social media.
I don't care how hot he is! If he's showing those red flags then you better block his ass faster than you swiped right on his profile. You should be treated with respect, period. You'd be better off watching paint dry than wasting your time on men who have basic manners to figure out. At least while watching paint dry you can give yourself meaningful compliments, which is more than Mr. Red-Flag is going to do.
Now I'm sure you're considering swearing off dating apps after this, but that's not the point of this article! I want everyone to find love, and some people will find it on Tinder or Bumble, but I just want to make sure that you're prepared for the bumpy road that lies ahead if you decided to jump into the world of online dating. It's frustrating and tiresome, but at the very least you'll probably get a few funny stories out of your next virtual romantic tryst.
Happy online dating and be safe ladies!