Confessions Of A Recovering Sex Addict
Start writing a post

Sex addiction, also known as hypersexuality, is defined as a proposed diagnosis for people who have an "excessive" amount of sex and feel distressed as a result. Sex addiction may not be an official mental disorder and most people would not take anyone seriously when someone says that they have a sex addiction, but I will say that it is just as hard to recover from as a drug addiction would.

I understand how being a sex addict would affect how someone thinks, how someone perceives themselves, and how it can affect someone's relationships with others because I am a recovering sex addict.

I will admit that I am still pretty embarrassed to admit this because nine times out of ten I will not be taken seriously when I tell people. Most people would just laugh right in my face and tell me that there is no possible way that anyone could possibly help me. Many say that this is something that I can control and this is something that I choose to do.

But here's the thing: I do not want to be in this cycle over and over again. All I want is for this cycle in my life to stop.

This addiction started when I was 17-years-old when an old friend of mine (who also ended up being my abuser) introduced me to pornographic videos. I never watched porn before then because I was unfamiliar with what I would be getting myself into and was too innocent to look it up in the first place. Once I started watching it, I could not stop. When I would watch these acts on these websites, I would constantly masturbate to what was going on and imagine myself in those situations and would want nothing more than to just have sex.

That's all I wanted, just sex.

It started to leave me depressed and gave me a different perspective on my body and myself because of it. It has ruined a lot of friendships that I cherished. My sex addiction has even led to masturbating several times to a close friend that I never wanted to think of in a sexual manner. There have even been times when close friends would talk about their sexual experiences and would make me even more depressed, but I would say nothing because I understand that everyone can talk about whatever they want to talk about.

Even the times when I have had sex felt like some of the longest moments of my life, and after it was over, I would not even feel like it was a good sexual experience. The only times I thought I had a good sexual experience was turned against me and the other person ended up lying about me and stabbing me in the back, which made them not good anymore. What's most difficult is trying to recover, since everyone keeps telling me that it's on me or that there is no way, but I'm trying every day to recover and improve myself and my relationships in the process.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.


The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers


Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series


Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?


Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments