It’s easy to get excited about March. Marking the official start of spring, most people enjoy the month for its change in weather and the break it provides to both high school and college students. However, for sports junkies, gambling aficionados, and stat gobblers alike, only one thing matters this time of year: March Madness.
Most Americans know the basics of this event, but for those who don’t, it is a one-and-done, winner-take-all tournament of the top 64 NCAA men’s basketball programs (also for those who don’t know: change this, you’re missing out). Many average people don't understand the struggle behind the glamor and glitz of collegiate sports' most prestigious ceremony.
There are countless tasks at hand which must be taken care of before a fan can (try to) enjoy the tournament, including tediously filling out up to 10 brackets, in hopes of winning the elusive million dollar prize, placing bets on the underdog in hopes of a big payday, and of course, clearing out your entire schedule to make sure you can watch all your favored teams play.
Others will attempt to work around this hassle by taking drastic measures, such as watching games from their cell phones, randomizing their brackets, and placing quick bets on highly favored top-seeds.
This madness about March Madness must end, and there is only one way we can reach such a resolution: March Madness must become a national holiday. Hell, why not? During March in the United States, we recognize a hoopla of holidays, from National Nutrition Month to National Professional Social Work Month, so why not give basketball its due?
With the time it takes the tournament to play out being turned free, our country would see a rapid and fast-acting change.
March would become a month of observation, where the average American could be schooled in the arts necessary to enjoy the month properly, such as how to decipher between teams with championship-caliber potential and no shot whatsoever, how to not (for lack of a better term) “lose your sh*t” when that 2-seed you picked to advance to the final four gets upset by some no-name team from Midwestern Mountain Range East Bumf*ck (or even worse, Middle Tennessee), and of course, how to properly get your victory dance on. Our country’s economy would also benefit greatly from this declaration.
When March Madness comes a nearly insatiable request for chicken wings, light beer, pizza, team apparel, and more light beer. If we, as a nation, were even able to satisfy half of this demand, the rewards reaped would exceed any expectation possible.
I urge you to act swiftly in this time of change. Contact your local mayor, petition at a community center nearby, maybe even send the president a letter. Anything you can do to help the cause is appreciated, because if we can get March Madness recognized as a holiday, we can make America great again, and hey, maybe we can even shift the national attention away from Donald Trump for a while.
