As I have said before, October is a month of bringing awareness to many things. One being Breast Cancer and another being Domestic Violence.

According to NCADV, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, "nearly twenty people per minute, male and female, are physically abused by their intimate partner" this equates to ten million men and women in one year who will encounter abuse in their relationships. Again, like Breast Cancer, it is important to point out that this is not just a female matter. Men can be in the middle of an abusive relationship. One in three women and one in four men have been in some form of an abusive relationship. Domestic violence "accounts for 15% of all violent crimes" and in some cases, it is a gateway to higher risk crimes.

One in seven women and one in eighteen men have reported being stalked by a partner to the "point where they felt fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed." Both male and female victims are prone to dealing with PTSD, anxiety, chronic pain and have a higher risk of developing addictions to alcohol, tobacco products and other drugs. And studies suggest that there is a relationship between the abusive relationship and depression and suicidal thoughts. Think of it this way: when someone that you love constantly tells you, "You are not good" at being a girlfriend/boyfriend/loving spouse, accuses you of things you did not do, and that it hurts them so they feel it is right to hurt you, it will make you question love and lust and life and wrong and right. You did not do the things they accused you of nor did you in any way, shape or form, but you still take the hits, you still apologize, you still stay in the relationship because you think this is what love really is.

One in five women and one in seven men have been victims of severely violent acts committed by their loved ones. Not to mention that "19% of domestic violence involves a weapon and the presence of a gun increases the risk of homicide by 500%." Please take note that the homicide victim is not always the one involved in the relationship: "20% of homicide victims involved in a domestic violence relationship are family members, friends, people who tried to intervene or bystanders." 74% of all murder-suicides have been brought on by an abusive intimate partner and 94% of those murder-suicide victims are female.

All of these statistics do not include the amount of rape and sexual assault that occur in these types of relationships. If I were to count them as well: women are more prone to contracting the HIV virus and/or other STI due to the unwanted intercourse and there are more complications with pregnancies, such as unwanted/unintended pregnancies, teen pregnancies, miscarriages and stillbirths.

The purple ribbon stands for a lot of things like overdose, pancreatic cancer, animal abuse, Lupus, etc., but this month it stands for domestic violence, which I think is not talked about much in our culture. Yes, we talk about rape and the abuse in the relationship - but we don't fully understand how people get into these situations.

I was first exposed to what a domestic violent relationship looked like by reading Sarah Dessen's Dreamland, a young adult romantic novel. The novel illustrated to me how easy it is to forget about the bruises and remember the love shared between the two. It illustrated how there are signs about these things and we should not ignore them. It illustrated that not everyone is out to get you, but not everyone is on your side either.

This month, let's support one another and make this country, this planet, your communities, a safe place for people to come forward and get the help they need. I encourage you to encourage others to seek out those who need your help and guidance - there are clues and hidden secrets that you can easily find and uncover, just as long as you are looking to find them. Yes, I know that I said some facts before that show that this may be dangerous, but if you step up and step in now, then maybe the situation has not escalated to those dangerous levels.

All I am asking is that you share this new found knowledge with your family, friends, neighbors and community members and help someone in need - and tell them to pay it forward!