Here we are again, that time of year where the isles of every Walmart are flooded with red and pink, and the smell of old, processed chocolate gently slaps you in the face as soon as you accidentally walk in the 'Exit' door instead of the 'Enter.'
It's almost Valentine's Day. Most of you are rolling your eyes at the mere thought of this overdone, over-emphasized and over-commercialized corporate holiday. But I'm here to tell you, knock it off and stop being a downer.
Just to add a bit of credibility on the subject, you should know that I am not one of those sappy girls who's way too attached to her boyfriend (who happens to be saved in her phone as a sequence of meaningless Emojis). I'm just as single and sardonic as you are. I also enjoy Netflix and I also have the social interaction skills of an uncooked Toaster Strudel. Now that we're both on the same page, here are just a couple of reasons why you should not hate your life this Valentine's Day:
1. You can eat as much candy as you want, and no one will judge you.
This one is obvious. Not only is there an overabundance of candy, but it's all yours for the eating. You don't have to share it with anyone else and you don't have to make any excuses to the cashier as to why you're buying 14 king-size Hershey bars.
2. You're single, so you have no one to impress.
You can sit on the couch and keep eating Hershey bar number 11 while the rest of your roommates scramble around the house trying to collectively shave their legs in the sink. You don't have to worry about finding the perfect outfit, unless you feel like it. You don't even have to shower - as if that's out of the ordinary.
3. You don't have to reorganize your room to accommodate for a giant teddy bear.
Personally, I don't understand the giant teddy bear craze. Sure, I suppose it's sweet, but I would think that it's actually more of an inconvenience. Who has that kind of space in their room? Also, unless you're going to carry it up the stairs for me, I don't want to deal with it. What's even weirder, apparently people are now cutting the bears open, taking out the stuffing and dancing around while wearing the giant teddy bear carcasses. Who thinks of these things?
4. Two words: Valentine's deals.
Many restaurants and bars will be offering Valentine's Day specials. Hooters restaurants are giving away free wings to anyone who brings in a picture of their ex. Plenty of bars are offering free drinks for singles who bring in pictures as well. Starbucks is adding three new drinks to the menu, especially for Valentine's day. Look into what kinds of deals are happening in your area. I can't think of anything better than free wings and free drinks. Instead of filling the empty void in your heart, take the easy route and fill the empty void in your stomach. Totally responsible and efficient.
5. You can save money for things that matter.
The money that you would spend on a new outfit, on presents or on a meal for your significant other can actually be put to good use. Save those dollars. Later, you can save them, invest them, or use them to purchase next semester's books. Or, on a more realistic note, you can buy yourself something that actually matters, like a six pack of something other than Bud Light. Treat yo'self, am I right?
6. Punny Tumblr Valentine's Day cards.
In my opinion, punny Valentine's cards are the BEST thing about Valentine's Day. I appreciate a good pun. My heart grows three sizes every year around mid-January when the various Valentine's Twitter accounts appear out of nowhere and fill my timeline with puns. This is the only time that I find pictures of Kanye West and Donald Trump to be enjoyable.
So - instead of moping around this Valentine's Day, indulge in the little things. It's just like any other day, plus candy. Don't worry yourself with how many Valentine's you receive this year, and focus on how many you give - or something like that. At the very least, don't ruin things for everyone else with your "forever single amirite?" Tweets. Nobody cares about your barren love life, so you might as well cut your losses and live a little this Valentine's Day.
