Earlier this week my therapist asked me, “Do you have a reason to stay alive?” and the only response I could muster was a soft “I don’t know.” Of course, she started telling me all these reasons why I should stay and continue living life but in all honesty, she could tell me those phrases day and night and they still would not gain meaning. This brief conversation got us thinking, that was when she suggested the idea of creating a Google Doc together with a list of reasons to stay alive. At first I sat there, staring into space dreading her suggestion but then I started to think, “What are my reasons for living?” “What gets me out of bed and through each day?” I didn’t have a particular answer. When going through life it is easy to fall into a routine as it is often something that grounds us and stays constant in the never changing world around us. For me, I had never really thought about why I wanted to live because when I was younger, it just seemed ‘like the things to do’. As I thought about this question later that night I started thinking even with all the darkness and pain those reasons are still present, it is a matter of finding them and truly believing in them.
My Reasons To Stay Alive:
1. To help others
2. To drink way too much coffee
3. To write more stories
4. Learn more
5. See my sister graduate college
6. Christmas
7. Graduate high school and college
8. Become a counselor
My Therapists Reasons To Stay Alive:
1. Family
2. Learn more from others
3. Serve and Help others
4. Live life
5. Watch my children grow
6. Hot chocolate
7. Christmas movies
8. Christmas time
While I was writing my list last night before bed, I started reading back through and realized, just because I can make a list doesn’t give me hope or a true reason to stay. There are days when getting out of bed seems like climbing a mountain, let alone living life. These reasons not only have meaning to me, but those around me. Even though the pain tries to tell you all of these reasons and events would be better without you, search for the light. It is there even when you cannot see it.
I challenge you, whether or not you feel you need reasons to live, make a list of reasons why you should stay alive, it might just surprise you what you come up with. Never give up hope, we need more people like you in this world, not less.
