I interviewed nine cat ladies, and here are their (edited) responses.

1. Cuddle Partner

For those cold winter days, a cat will curl right up alongside and you and provide all the heat and emotional support you could want. Will not drink hot chocolate, but that means there is more for you.

2. Soft and Fluffy

Cats are soft whether long haired or short, fuzzy or velvety. Humans are sparsely covered in fur and are akin to cuddling with a naked mole rat with clothes on.

3. Listening Ears

Soft velvety pink ears to listen to your every story, pain, and experience, good or bad.

4. Occasional Emotional Distance

Just when you begin to take for granted the cute ball of fluff that is your cat, he or she will turn up their soft pink nose and strut away with their tail held high. This will remind you that you're not that special.

5. Playmate

Cats will play with the strings dangling off your clothing, the laser pointer, and a ball of yarn, NOT your feelings.

6. Non Judgemental

Cats of all sizes (chubby or sleek, small or big) are adorable, and they think you are too.

7. The More the Merrier

People will not judge you for having more than one cat (until you start getting up into the double digits).

8. Inexpensive

You do not have to take your cat on fancy dates, buy extravagant gifts, or earn their affection with extravagant displays of love. Just some cat food, some litter, and vaccinations (vaccinate your cats!!) and you're good to go.

9. A Cat will Never Leave You

They have nine lives! And as long as you feed him or her and provide shelter, they will give you undying loyalty and NEVER ditch you for the next door neighbor, run out into the streets, sneak out the door in pursuit of a bird or mouse (if they did and don't bring back a token of their love in the form of a mangled and half-alive mouse, they are not a cat. They are a familiar of your S.O. And I'm sorry they did you dirty)