While the concept of “high school sweethearts” is viewed as very romantic in the public eye, it is not all that uncommon that many teenage relationships will not carry on outside the school walls where they were once started.
This is not a bad thing by any means, rather just evidence that life in high school is very different compared to what is seen in the real world. In high school, for instance, everything you’ve ever known lies within a 5-10 mile radius, and in that radius is your family and friends, your house, and not to mention many of your favorite places that provided you with unforgettable childhood memories.
Regardless of if you choose to stay local or go somewhere far, it’s inevitable that your life will change greatly following high school graduation.
So while you may have fallen in and out of relationships in high school, graduation brings about an entirely new chapter of life as you may have previously known it. The person who you once thought you were in love with, the one you took to senior prom, and even the person you stared at in the hallway day after day will likely no longer matter to you on the same level which they once did (unless you’re investing in a long distance relationship, which is an entirely different subject that I’m choosing to avoid).
Recently, I read an article called You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress and was negatively struck by some of the discussion in the piece (give a read, just to get some context).
To give a brief overview, the article discusses the author’s instinctively jealous feeling she is prone to get when thinking of her current boyfriend’s past relationships with those whom he was previously involved with (in this case, during high school). While this girl’s boyfriend did share senior prom and other high school-esque things with someone else, I cannot understand how this information is even in the slightest bit relevant to the relationship that he is currently invested in.
As times change, so do people. News flash: this includes your boyfriend. He has chosen to hand to you his heart, and for that, you should be honored, and above all, in love, provided you feel that way about him. The “other girls” do not compare. Not anymore, at least. Your boyfriend is probably very in love with you, and if you’re thinking otherwise maybe you should take that up with him, rather than an entire internet following.
This article is in no way meant to attack anyone, rather, it is to restore some confidence in girls everywhere who are currently in relationships and maybe feeling a bit uneasy. However, whether it makes you feel more content with your relationship or not, it is utterly insensitive to discredit certain aspects of a relationship that occurred during what seems to me as an entirely different lifetime.
Jealousy is a feeling that is often hard to shake, but it should be dealt with in a respectful manner. During a person’s life, in high school-aged years or out, it’s likely that they’ll be involved in many different relationships with many different people.
Even though the value of a finished relationship will ultimately fade into the back of the partner's minds, one must not forget that it did happen, and it happened for a reason. No matter the duration of the romantic relationship, at one time or another it is evident that both parties had once felt feelings of love towards one another. While it may not be worth much now, I still think it's important.
Relationships from the past help us learn from our mistakes to eventually figure out this oh-so-complex fantasy of what love really is. So even if the “other girl” did go to some of his sports games while they were dating, it’s unfair and heartless to assume that this was for the sole purpose of a “popularity appearance.” If you’re currently in a relationship with someone who happens to have some sort of a track record, that track record is really none of your business, chiefly because it no longer matters. He has chosen you.
Out of respect for your boyfriend and more importantly for yourself, I encourage anyone in a relationship to have some faith in their partner. No matter who he dated in the past, no matter who chooses to flirt with him, this is the present and he has chosen you. And for the duration of the relationship, he will keep choosing you.
Live in every moment you are in, and be thankful that you’ve found someone who loves you. There’s no reason to waste your energy stressing about a past you were not a part of. The present is where you are, and if that present involves any sort of love from another person, consider yourself lucky.
