My life is not where it was, and it is not where I want it to be. But, I am pretty happy with where I am now and that is what matters. Two months ago I wrote about my break down on the first day of my junior year. Today, I write about the happiness that has filled me as I end my fall quarter. I felt unaccomplished at the start of this school year. I overloaded my plate with responsibilities and now feel proud that I am building my career path.
Within the past couple of weeks, I have attained an internship while in the process of applying to the second one, been accepted to a spring business seminar in Paris, have won a team marketing plan competition to be set with a presentation to 3M, and have been building career relationships with professors. If I could jump up and down with excitement and cry happy tears I would, but I am in my school library because unfortunately, finals are still a very relevant part of my life.
While all of these great opportunities have come my way I have also failed in many aspects of my day-to-day life. I’ve been extremely busy this quarter and have barely even had time to breath. Numerous times, I “have dropped the ball.” I couldn’t make all of my meetings, I rescheduled so many times that I am embarrassed to admit. I’ve slacked in my sorority responsibilities, my room and car are a mess, my health has not been taken care of, I haven’t had time to be a fully present friend, I’m struggling in my finance class, and I barely wrote content for the Odyssey.
Do I not care enough, is that why I slacked on so many activities and relationships? Actually, I care a whole lot about everything that I’ve failed to do this quarter. The reality, however, is that there is only ONE “me.” I would love to replicate myself and do much more than I am now but that’s only an option in some perfect alternate universe. I have to work on my time management; I have to learn when to say “no” to more responsibilities.
So, I’m on the journey to find some balance in my life. This past quarter my emotions and mental health have been all over the place. I’m longing for a constant sense of happiness. I will search to eliminate the irrelevant factors of my life and spend time on what is truly worth my time. I don’t know exactly how I’ll figure this all out. But sometimes to find what you really want in life, you also have to figure out what you don’t want. It’s so easy for me to be joyful about the things in my life that are going right, however, I don’t want to be brought down every time something doesn’t work out how I planned. It’s natural for life to be imbalanced, but striving for a sense of balance and having more control will ultimately allow me to be more productive.
