Leaving a toxic relationship is one of the most challenging obstacles that life can throw at us.
It isn’t always easy to even realize that a relationship is toxic, and sometimes leaving feels like a habit that is impossible to break, but it is important to realize when a relationship helps you grow and when it constricts you. Leaving a toxic relationship may be the hardest, scariest thing you have ever had to do but just know it is always necessary.
The way they treat you is a reflection on them, not you.
When you are in a toxic relationship sometimes it feels like you are taking the blame for everything, like the reasons the relationship isn’t working is because of what you are or are not doing, this isn’t true. People can only love you as much as they love themselves, and when anger is inflicted upon you, but it feels unfair and unjust, it is because their anger is fueled from their own insecurities. It is never your job to fix or heal someone, remember that, you can love someone so deeply but at the end of the day giving away yourself to fill someone else sometimes only drains you.
Possession and jealousy aren’t traits that show they care.
In the heat of the moment when your significant other says things like “I have to make it known you’re my girl” or vice versa, this feels great like they are completely committed to you, but be careful this can turn into possession real quick. A relationship isn’t an ownership of another; it is simply a partnership where each person chooses the other because his or her company is sweeter than anyone else’s. If they have to show public affection to “claim you” from wandering eyes, that is not okay you are not a piece of property. Uploading pictures on social media isn’t searching for attention; they should be proud that they get you, and going out with your friends is harmless socializing, they should trust you and let you live your life.
It is okay to go to someone for help.
Please, please, please, never think you are isolated and alone. In a toxic relationship, it may seem like you distanced yourself from friends and even your family trying to stand up and protect against the flags they have pointed out, but that does not mean you can’t still go to them. I promise they will not hit you with the “I told you so,” instead they will be there to show you the love and appreciation you deserve. A toxic relationship can take a toll on your mental health, verbal abuse, and passive aggressive actions, even though may be subtle, is still draining to the self-esteem and can take an unhealthy turn quickly. Remember a relationship is never suppose to tear you down, it is supposed to raise you up and accent the beautiful rare parts of you which are so clear and pronounce regardless if they show you they see it or not.
Your beauty is deeper than skin deep, and you are always enough.
YOU ARE ENOUGH, you are so enough that you are just too much for them they couldn’t handle it. You are you, unique and beautiful and everything that anyone could possibly be lucky enough to have, don’t let someone else’s ignorance distinguish everything you truly are. You don’t need to have someone around just to prove your own beauty or prove that you are worth something, self-love is always stronger than external love.
Relationships become a part of our lives, a constant relationship while life keeps changing makes it is easy to get trapped in relationships that no longer serve you. Just remember love is not dependency and you never need someone else’s approval to determine your own self-worth. When you start to understand you are much better alone than with someone that tears you down, remember you are loved and you will get through this.