The Realities Of Life After Sexual Assault

The Realities Of Life After Sexual Assault

It's going to suck for a while, but it really will get better.
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1 in 5 females and 1 in 16 males are sexually assaulted on college campuses across the nation every year. That is a scary thought. That 20% of the females on a college campus will be assaulted. That 7% of males will be assaulted. However, this statistic is found for college students. Though I have to say many sexual assaults happen to people outside of college as well. Not only after graduation but while they are still minors.

Sexual assault doesn't just mean rape. It is when one party objects and the other keeps pushing until the objector gives in. It doesn't matter if you have been making out all night if one is a bit tipsy, or whatever. No means no. Life after an assault isn't easy.

Fear hits first. The fear of speaking out. The fear of being told you got what was coming to you. The fear of people even taking you seriously. The world that we live in today almost glorifies sexual assault. Many have gotten away with rape on minor consequences.

Then comes the self-hate. Hating yourself because you feel like an object. Like people can do whatever they want to you. Like you actually deserved to have this happen to you because you are so ugly, disgusting, and broken.

The fear and the self-hate stick around for a while. It's not like one day they just disappear, though you wish they would. They come and go. Some days are good, some are not. And depending on if you opened up to someone about them or not will depend on how severe they are and for how long.

Finally, you seem to reach a point where you feel better. You accept that it happened, but are grateful you survived. This can take years to reach. But even after you reach it, there are days you fall back to the scared and fragile state you were in shortly after it happened. When it happens where you are. When someone you know is attacked. When you see the rape culture being promoted.

It took me almost six years to finally be okay. It took two years to open up to my parents. I still have flashbacks. I still have nightmares. There are days where I can't even look myself in the mirror. I still fall. But as time goes on, and as I work through those feelings and different ways to cope, the times I fall become less and less.

Life as a survivor isn't easy. In fact, it sucks for a very, very long time. But you have to remember that you will get through it. You have to remember that there is a light on the other side. You will get through this. It is just going to take some time.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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10 Ways To Keep Your Workout Motivation According To A Personal Trainer

"ALEXA play 'Work Bitch' by Britney Spears."

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Keeping your motivation for working out is one of the number one reasons why I think people fail to achieve their fitness goals.

Now I am no "fitness guru" by any means, and I have lost my motivation many times and worked back up.

No one is perfect when it comes to working out, and everyone can have different methods that are successful but from what I have seen, and talking to a few personal trainers, these are some of the best ways to keep your motivation and not lose track of your goals.

If you stick to these 10 ways, you will definitely have a better mindset when it comes to working out, and that will help you push yourself hard because you know that you are capable of much more than you think!

That is the last piece of advice I will leave you with, you are so much more capable of than you think. I recall so many times in the gym, I've thought I was gonna just collapse or crumble cause I was so tired, but time and time again I persevere and finish a set, and see that I can really push myself to the limits, and this is when I've seen the best results.

1. Talk about your goals.

You have to speak your goals into existence. Also speaking about them to others can help hold you accountable and you are working so hard for them, don't give up and let what you accomplished so far go to waste!

2. Get a consistent workout buddy.

This is something that I have found helps me out a lot, my roommate Jordan and I are always checking in on each other to make sure that we've worked out!

3. Want better for yourself, not to impress someone else.

This is also very important, if you have fitness goals solely to impress someone else, you will never be satisfied, or never feel like enough.

4. Want it more than you say.

You really have to want your fitness goals more than you are saying. If you have this goal that is driving you constantly in the back of your mind, your motivation will keep coming from within.

5. Have a scheduled workout plan.

If you have a workout plan that a professional or yourself has constructed, it gives you something to follow and not break. Having a plan for yourself will help keep yourself on track.

6. Take pictures every week!

Seems cheesy, but taking photos of yourself every week can hold you accountable but more importantly, you are able to see results, big or small, if you aren't seeing them in person, you'll be able to tell through the photos.

7. Know what your plan is before you go to the gym.

You should know what your plan is before you go to the gym, try not to just wing it. If you are winging it, who knows if you are really pushing yourself and constantly challenging yourself every gym session.

8. Try your best to maintain a healthy diet during the week.

This can be difficult of course, meal prepping is someting that can always helps! BUT if you don't have time to meal prep, then just go to the grocery store and buy a bunch of healthy snacks to eat throughout the day to keep your motabalism working. Get foods to fuel your body so all your hard workouts don't go to waste!

9. Stick to a plan, it'll be hard at first, but it only gets easier.

Once you get into the swing of things, get into a routine, you'll get used to it. And then you will truly enjoy it, feel great, and have more energy!

10. Surround yourself with others that also have the same goals as you.

As cliche as it is, you do pick up the traits of the people you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with overachievers, hard workers, who have the same fitness goals as you, you'll all work hard together and encourage each other along the way!

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