There is a stigma when it comes to anxiety.

We have either used this word too freely, claiming the stress to be a form of it, or we have not used it at all, labeling people as overdramatic.

My anxiety is neither a stigma nor is it something to be glorified.

My anxiety is a diagnosis that has affected me in many ways, and I pray that it gets to be known for more than the way it is viewed by society.

At nine years old, I was clinically diagnosed with anxiety disorder. You’re probably wondering why someone so young would even have anything to stress about, but it’s not always about life’s pressure. It is about a little girl who on a normal night can’t breathe because everything is crashing in for some reason.

It’s about a little girl who called her mom over and over again the minute she left the house because she was her person at the time and the thought of losing that person suffocates you even more. It’s about a little girl who didn’t understand why she was so different and always thinking that people will love her less for it.

Anxiety is collapsing at random times because your mind is always overthinking.

Anxiety is wondering why there wasn’t a text back or a shift in their tone.

Anxiety is questioning the way people look at you; are they judging or simply staring?

I write this coming out of a panic attack. I actually don’t want to post this because of judgment, but I will, because the image of what anxiety “is” needs to be shattered.

Anxiety is real.

It’s not the stress that comes from a test you have to take; something that is always fleeting. It’s what has been programmed into you. A part of your genetic makeup. There is no rhyme or reason to it some days. Anxiety just exists in those who have it.

Anxiety is overthinking everything.

Especially with large transitions in life, anxiety can grab on. There was a time where I scrutinized every move and word I said. I revisited the past and over analyzed the future, never stopping to breath in the present. It was beyond tiring, not just emotionally, but physically. Everything around me was always second guessed, and it was what felt like a never ending cycle.

Anxiety is not always introverted people.

On good days, I can be the life of the party. Stand in the middle of a crowd or simply outgoing with my friends. That doesn’t mean that the anxiety has left me, it just means that at this time, it’s subdued. It does not change who you are deep down as a person, just your emotions at the time. There are the bad days too where I will not want to leave the comfort of my bed. Do it though. Rise up stronger than your thoughts that weigh you down.

You control your mind, it doesn’t control you.

Anxiety is not always evil.

I have had a hard time coming to terms with this one. I’ve hated that this was what I am. Until I realized that this is not what I am, rather than what I have. It’s not always evil because it can be a warning that something genuinely might be wrong. You are more aware of your surroundings, and can actually depict the changes. This is rare, but it happens.

You can also rule the over thinking and stress by conquering it. Working harder for what you want, and forcing yourself out of the ball that’s closing in on you, taking your energy. Free yourself from your mind and it’s the most rewarding feeling ever.

You are larger than anxiety. Anxiety lives in you which means it has to be smaller than you. Anxiety doesn’t make who you are rather than you make do with what you are given. Mind over matter, because the most powerful muscle we have is our brain.

Hold close the support you have around you, but be your own support too. Rely on your friends and family as legs that hold you up, but be able to stand on your own.

So yes, I have anxiety.

No, I am not broken because of it.

Yes, it’s something that I wish I could live without, but I can’t, so I accept that I am stronger for it.

And no, you're not alone.