“I love you”. Just three words that have so much meaning. These are the words that change everything, but how many times are these words just said without the consideration of the actual deep meaning of love.
The dictionary definition of love is “an intense feeling of deep affection”. Now let’s look at the Biblical definition of love “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Corinthians 13:4-7 The world has taken the true meaning of love and given it a false identity. Many times, the world likes to portray real love as “perfect” or “goals.” But I like to think of real love in a different sense.
Real love is the choice to love someone through their, flaws, imperfections, and brokenness. Choosing to love someone through their mess isn’t easy, but when you find your person you know that the bumps in the road will all be worth it. When you love someone, you devote yourself to making it a priority to help shape them to be the best person they can possibly be. Spiritually, physically, and mentally, you want to push them every day and help them set goals for themselves. You become the positivity they need. You become their rock. They look to you on their bad days for support.
We are called to love like Jesus. Jesus loved hypocrites and sinners, He accepted everyone. In the same way, we are called to love our person through their flaws and remind them that even when they fail, you will still be there. Remind them of God’s love for them, especially when they fail. People tend to run when things get hard or when the relationship doesn’t turn out to be “perfect.” But sticking with someone through the bad and the good is a way more beneficial type of love. A love that can withstand the storms of life is genuine, real love. The beauty of knowing each other’s brokenness and flaws and still pushing through the chaos of life and change is a genuine love. I pray to not only love in this way, but to also have this type of love in my marriage. I encourage you to view your person’s brokenness not as a flaw but another way you can love them. I encourage you to let go of the idea of a “perfect” love and allow yourself to find your own love story. “We waste time looking for the perfect lover instead of creating the perfect love.” –Tom Robbins
“Allowing yourself to be loved is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.” It is so important to also allow yourself to be loved. Don’t let your past heart breaks keep you from putting yourself out there. Allow your person to love the parts of yourself that you don’t love, let your walls down, and be open to new possibilities. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable to someone comes with great risk but also a lot of healing. You aren’t perfect, you’re going to fail and make mistakes, but your person will love you through all of it. “You are more than the choices that you've made. You are more than the sum of your past mistakes.You are more than the problems you create.” –Tenth Avenue North
I personally hate starting over, I hate change, and new beginnings scare me. But making the choice to start over with someone new was one of the best decisions I have ever made, and it has led me to so much happiness. The doors I had to close to find a new love was all so worth it.
My idea of real love isn’t rings, flowers, or dates. It’s someone who chooses to love me every day through my stubbornness and flaws. Someone who stays through the mess, and who I know will still be by my side forever and always. Someone who is my person, who I couldn’t live a day without, someone who makes me better.
“So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide.” – Meredith Grey
