Everyone knows that couple that has been together since the beginning of high school. They broke up a hundred times, got in countless fights, and might have even had a run in with infidelity or two, but here they are sticking it out, because they are “soul mates”. Reality check, I don’t think that’s how it works.
So many times I see these couples posting about how much they love their significant other on Facebook. But sometimes I wonder who exactly they are trying to convince? Their followers or themselves? Now I am not saying that you cannot be happy with someone you’ve dated for more than two years, because you absolutely can. I am referring to the couples who are just prolonging the inevitable.
Time in a relationship doesn’t necessarily equal quality of a relationship. The honeymoon phase isn’t going to last forever, but don’t just accept its end as the end of mutual effort going into the relationship and live forever in a state of being comfortable but not complete. I understand not wanting to end it because you don’t want to think of the time spent together as wasted. However, if this person isn’t your person, then aren’t you potentially wasting the rest of your life?
Love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a job. It’s something you and your person have to work at every day to keep it going. Respect must be mutual. Forgiveness and patience have to follow close behind. There is a difference between being in love and being comfortable. When you get comfortable, the effort starts to lag. The list of past mistakes grows longer and longer. Forgiveness becomes resentment, and patience becomes indifference. Comfortable does not always equal compatible.
Ending the relationship means people will talk. They will talk about how wrong it was of you to break it off. They will talk about how selfish you are and how you didn’t try to work it out and that alone is enough to make you doubt cutting the ties. But why?
Why do we care so much about what they will think of us? No one sees what happens behind closed doors. Except God. He sees it all, and if your relationship isn’t honoring Him, He will without a doubt notice. He will also support your removal from the relationship. After all, isn’t His opinion the only one that matters?
Maybe the relationship didn’t start out honoring God, but now you feel Him calling you. If your partner doesn’t want to grow with you spiritually, then it is OK to leave. It’s OK to start following the path God designed for you. Don’t ignore His calling, especially for a twisted form of earthly love that doesn’t even stand a chance against the Eternal love Christ has for you.
If you truly see a future with your person, read 1 Chorinthians 13:4-7. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Now take out “love” and replace it with the name of your person. Read it again. Is that a true statement? If not, it’s time to make some changes.
Just because you have been with someone for a long time, does not mean you have to stay together forever. And you don’t have to feel guilty about moving on if that someone isn’t willing to grow closer to the Lord with you. Time really means nothing. Don’t be afraid to stop the clock on the relationship, especially if that clock is really just a ticking-time-bomb ready to explode during your next disagreement. Let go of the routine of trust issues, late-night arguments, and going to bed upset because you are fighting over the same issue for the 17,000th time, and let God remodel you into the person He has waited for you to become.
