When I text someone, I expect them to answer back just as quickly as I did. A surge of anxiety overwhelms me when people stop answering me. I wrack my brain for all the reasons why they stopped responding: did I say something wrong? Did I offend them? DID I SEND THAT TO THE WRONG PERSON?! Most of the time, it’s all in my head and nothing is wrong at all. I know this, but it never stops me from having heart palpitations when someone takes more than two minutes to respond. This uneasy feeling isn’t just via text, it’s when I tag someone in a post, it’s when I send a friend request, and it’s when I snap someone. To me, this is the downfall of social media. It makes me more anxious as I expect instant responses and instant gratification and I struggle to find a way to break out this mindset.
Admittedly, I think I get anxious about most things: tests, new situations, talking on the phone, but I feel like this is intensified when I’m using social media. On social media I can actively see if someone is ignoring me or if something I said didn’t go over well. It pains me to see “read 9:55,” especially when it’s now 10:15. Being able to see when someone has read your message and actively seeing them type is scary and weird when you think about it. Really, think about it: two people in two completely different places can see when the other is reading and responding. The privacy of ignoring someone without their knowledge is long gone, especially when you add in the fact that you know everyone has their phone with them. I would rather not know when I’m being ignored, but that’s a luxury I no longer have.
For some reason I always think it’s something that I did. I always believe that the person is mad at me and I never reason with myself that the person I’m talking to is busy or has other things going on. Maybe I’m just wary of offending people but I also think it’s easy to take messages out of context and misunderstand. I don’t want my friends thinking I said x when I actually was trying to say y. This happens all the time so I try my best to be clear. However, it turns out that the majority of the time, it isn’t anything I said nor is the person ignoring me. People get busy and people forget. I have to remind myself of these two facts.
Although I love social media, I worry about its affects on those with social anxieties. The lack of privacy and invasive nature of how we interact of others is certainly a cause for concern. For me, I instantly regret texting someone especially when I can see that they’ve ignored me. The waves of panic I feel makes me almost not want to talk to anyone at all. I guess this is something I must work on. I have to remember that though we live in an instant world and everyone has their phone glued to their hand, people have lives outside of social media. I must remember that not everyone is a fast texter like I am, but that doesn’t mean our friendship means less.
