The details of what happened in Charlottesville, VA have been circling around social media the last week. The tension has risen on both sides and it's hard to see the bright side of all of this. Over the last several days, I've been asked too many times to count about my opinion on what has happened in Charlottesville. And, as a black woman living in the United States, I don't think many people realize how tiring that question is.

In my lifetime, I've learned that sometimes, it is better for my mental and emotional health for me to stay away from the news media because there is almost always something there to ignite anger or introduce sadness. There's always something to take my joy away. Sometimes, it seems as though I can't escape the names and bodies of fallen people who look like me. I can't escape the lurking hate people have for me; people who haven't even met me nor know my character. In these types of situations I am almost pushed to speak on what is currently happening. Although I am angered, I feel more sadness than anything. It's exhausting having to be strong day after day when in the midst of something like this. Dealing with white supremacists should have been something that only my ancestors had to face. Yet, here we are, in 2017 and I still feel the crushing weight of racism and the ever looming clouds of sadness.

To those who are able to stomach the details of what has happened in Charlottesville: know that some people do not have the same ability to do so as you. My laughter when reading headlines is not rooted in disrespect but in the unwillingness to show that I am affected by such events. Why would I want to read the details of anti-fascist counter protesters being intentionally ran over by a car? Why would I want to watch a video documenting the terror? Why would I want to allow myself to be further damaged mentally?

Through the eyes of someone else, I know it seems as though I am unwilling to fight against white supremacy. I truly do want to, however, it must be made clear that not all people can take blow after blow. Tragedy in the form of police brutality has struck the black community for too many years. I've seen too many videos and too many bodies. And while there are some that can still stand to fight, there are some who are still trying to rebuild themselves.

Although I realize that the fight against white supremacy is necessary so we may stand on the right side of history, do not take a persons silence as a form of neutrality.

We are not neutral, we are tired.

By the amount of support from allies and other people of color who are being attacked by the proclamation of hate distributed by the white supremacists, it is clear that we can be given the time to heal so that we may continue to fight this battle. Even if just for a bit.