I Found Out I Wasn't My Rapist's First Rape Victim And I Initially Blamed The Girl Instead Of The Guy
Health and Wellness

I Found Out I Wasn't My Rapist's First Rape Victim And I Initially Blamed The Girl Instead Of The Guy

Before my rapist raped me, he raped another girl. I had many emotions, surprisingly most of them weren't toward him.

I Found Out I Wasn't My Rapist's First Rape Victim And I Initially Blamed The Girl Instead Of The Guy

I found out my rapist raped someone else. At first, I was angry. Why didn't she tell on him? Why didn't she go to court? Why did it happen to me after? Could she have stopped it from happening to me? Who was she? His ex? A friend, like me? Did it happen the same way? All of these questions ran through my head.

I was FURIOUS. I was so angry. I thought she could have stopped it from happening to me.

Then I remember, I didn't tell on him after it happened. I hid. I cried. I stayed away. I needed a mental health day every day the week after. The people I didn't tell were worried about me. I remembered these things and it brought me back to reality. She literally went through the same as me, yet here I am angry at her for what I also didn't do (at least for months).

Then, I remembered my thoughts after it happened: no one will believe me. It's my word against his. I don't want to ruin his life. He's my friend. It was a mistake. What if they thought I deserved it because I was drinking? What if they thought I deserved it because I was with only guys? I knew that all of that probably ran through her mind as well. She went through the same thing as me. Instead of being angry at her I, out of all people, should understand.

I can't believe I was victim blaming. Blaming her for not pressing charges. I eventually found out she reported it. She could have pressed charges and nothing happened. Instead of being mad at her, I feel for her. I understand. I am angry at the police and county that we are in for not doing anything. Not doing something the first time or the second.

So yes, if you know someone who has been raped, inform them about going to the police, but don't make them do anything. They will or will not do whatever, based on what they are capable of doing. At first, it is extremely hard to even do daily activities, I couldn't imagine going to the police right after it happened. Hell, I was still trying to figure out what had happened at that point. I wasn't able to call what he did to me rape until weeks after it happened.

I only reported it and pressed charges so that it wouldn't happen to another girl by him again. I know I wouldn't have been responsible, but I sure as hell would feel like it. I commend myself and any other girl who reports it. It is a tough thing to do. You have to relive that night over and over again retelling multiple people. Just being a survivor is hard enough.

I just want to say to any survivor, if you have or haven't done anything: you are a warrior and I am so proud of you for being you, for surviving this traumatic thing. You didn't deserve it. No matter what you think, no matter what you were wearing. Nothing matters, except consent. If that person who did this to you did not get consent: they were in the wrong. I don't care who doesn't believe you, I believe you. Nothing matters unless they got consent and I'm sorry if you think or others tell you otherwise. I just want to tell you that I believe you.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B just dropped the hottest summer single yet. It's called "WAP" and we're going to get into all the intoxicating lyrics.

This song empowers females and their sexuality. These women put the ridiculous music industry female beef to bed, and I mean tucked away in a coma.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Write Down The Holy Grail Recipe Everyone Begs You To Make

Because everyone has a signature cocktail, cake, or pasta they bring to every potluck.


From back when I used to bring my mom's classic white chocolate chip cookies to preschool on my birthday to now stirring up my signature tequila cocktails at every friends' barbecue, I've always had a couple of standby recipes in my culinary rotation.

Keep Reading... Show less

Meet My Cat: Cheshire, The Stray Turned House Cat Who Lives in Michigan

I never considered myself a cat person, but Chess immediately stole my heart.

Madelyn Darbonne

In 2016, a stray cat gave birth to a litter of three grey kittens on my aunt and uncle's property. I had never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but these furballs immediately stole my heart. I got to watch them grow up until they were old enough to leave their mother's side.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Binge-Watch A TV Show —And Then Write A Review About It

Writing your favorite and least favorite things about a show could not be more fun.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Looking for a new show to binge? Stop scrolling through your options and listen.

Sometimes a good show doesn't come down to the genre or the actors involved, it comes down to the fact that it is simply a GOOD show. If any of these things sound appealing to you, you should definitely watch.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been bleaching my hair since I was in seventh grade. Yes, you read that correctly, seventh grade. That's nearly 10 years of maintaining a very light shade of blonde that too-often brings about dryness and brittle strands.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chances are if you're here, you're probably interested in writing an open letter. Yay! We're excited to have you.

Of course, not all open letters are created equal. In fact, there's a recipe to writing one for Odyssey that'll get featured on one of our many verticals. When it comes to Swoon specifically (for those new around here, that's our dating and relationships vertical), we receive dozens of open letters each month, many of which are all very similar.

Keep Reading... Show less

With a new phone comes great responsibility: Do not break it! And the best way to do that is with a case. However, picking a case can be a challenge. No need to fret, I am here to help break down some of the best cases for the new iPhone SE 2020. Honestly, I think it's going to be impossible to choose!

Keep Reading... Show less

To some who have been out of the dating world for a while, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things after being single for some time. So, I asked 26 people what they think is important to know before looking for love again, here's what they had to say.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments