"Rape Culture is an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture. Rape culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety." - Marshall University Women's Center
Rape culture is when I was catcalled at age 12 at the mall while I was shopping with my aunt. When she yelled, "She's only twelve!" at him, he didn't care.
Rape culture is when I spent all of high school not allowed to walk around my neighborhood without a boy accompanying me, even though my younger (and much smaller) brother could go alone.
Rape culture is when I was grateful that I had gotten new running sneakers on the day a man decided to follow me in his car. He harassed me for several blocks before he made an attempt to reach for me. I ran for at least 6 blocks before I lost him in an alleyway. I was 14.
Rape culture is when I was pulled aside from my classes during high school because my shoulders were "too exposed." Apparently my education was less valuable than that of my male classmates.
Rape culture is when my father gave me a taser for my 18th birthday because I was going away to college in New York City. He apologized for not being able to also get me pepper spray.
Rape culture is when I can't go off campus without turning off my music so I can hear if a man is following me. The only reason I keep the headphones in is to deter any strange men from approaching me and starting an unwanted conversation (not like it works).
Rape culture is when a man felt the need to sit right next to me on an empty subway car and harass me until I switched cars at the next stop. That earned me more than a few curse words.
Rape culture is when a man very clearly invaded my personal space while I was trying to do my homework on a packed subway car. He yelled in my face and then tried to grab me because I ignored him. People watched this happen and said nothing as I frantically packed my things and tried to leave.
Rape culture is when I explained the above situation to a friend, and his response was, "You're in New York, what do you expect?" I expect to be treated with basic human rights and dignity, but apparently my geographic location makes that too much to ask.
Rape culture is when men think they have a right to comment on my body every time I am out in public. They do this not to compliment me, but to exert power over me.
Rape culture is every time I am offended that someone mocks my gender, or sees something a woman does as inferior to something a man does. News flash: I do everything "like a girl," and its 10 times better than anything you've ever done.
Rape culture is when I complain about when men make unwanted sexual advances towards me, and guys ask, "Why don't you just say no?" I don't do that because women have gotten beaten, raped, and murdered for saying that one simple word.
Rape culture is even more deeply rooted and complex than the above examples I have provided. Every single situation is 100% true, and several have happened to me on multiple occasions. If you ask other women, I'm sure they could give you a million other examples just like mine.
Rape culture affects everyone. It disproportionally affects minorities, especially women of color, LGBTQA women, and women of different religions (Islam, for example).
I have seen a huge uproar on social media about the Brock Turner case, with many people asking how something like this could happen in 2016. Rape culture is what made this possible. Rape culture allows men like him to think he can take what he wants, and then play the victim. Rape culture is what gave him 6 months when it should have been at least 15 years. Rape culture is what keeps so many other victims of the exact same situation silent.
So here's what we do next.
Start respecting girls and women.
Stop teaching the idea that "boys will be boys."
Teach boys and girls to respect both boys and girls.
Stop policing and shaming girls for their bodies.
Stop teaching the male = strong and aggressive and female = weak and passive.
Stop teaching men that they aren't allowed to have emotions.
Stop teaching the idea that women are irrational and over-emotional.
Stop slut-shaming women for having sex, and then praising men for their "sexual conquests."
Stop valuing the opinions of men over women.
End the rape kit backlog.
Stop blaming victims of assault (whether male or female) for the actions of their attacker.
Start believing victims when they bravely tell their stories.
Treat all people with the same dignity and respect, regardless of race, gender identity, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, or religion.
And for crying out loud, stop letting people like Brock Turner off the hook.
