Questions To Ask Yourself Before Breaking Up

3 Questions To Ask Yourself When You're Thinking About Breaking Up With Your S.O.

Utilizing compassion by placing yourself in the other individual's shoes hones your listening abilities.


After breakups, most people find it stressful when they don't know what they would do next without the one they used to live for. On the off chance that you have a feeling that you've missed the love boat, hang on. It's never past the point of no return when you're willing to analyze and understand yourself and take liability as far as it matters for you. Above all else, stop blaming yourself if you are. An individual can only clap with two hands. More often in relationships, if you take a look at your situation from a third perspective, it can help you become more mindful of what it may resemble for another person to be with you as a partner. Instead of blaming each other and coming to a conclusion, you should ask these three questions to yourself.

Do you have enough attention and time in your relationship?

Like any plant needs water, fertilizer, and sunlight to bloom, every relationship requires frequent behavior with specific characteristics if they are to flourish. In a world of smart devices backed up by AI tools, many individuals put day-to-day assignments and work before their loved ones. It's great to have excellent work ethics but remember, relationships can't blossom without time and attention. You should ask yourself if you've taken more than you've given to your relationship because relationships demand intermittent deposits like time, consideration, care, understanding, heart-to-heart, and face-to-face talks, trust, and forgiveness to dump stress, disputes, fights, and blame out of your relationship.

One can consider attempting to keep his/her relationship alive by having special moments in his/her life more often. As many said, preparing dinners together and having pleasant dinner time discussions (without any interaction of electronic gadgets) give a stage to solidarity and mutual support. It is essential to take an active interest in your loved one's life. You don't have to lose yourself in the relationship, but it's important to listen to your companion's dreams and disillusionment and discover what he or she feels about life.

Do you show compassion, appreciation, and respect for your partner?

In my opinion, an attentive person takes part in what his/her S.O. needs to say and stays open to thoughts that conflict with his/her own. Every one of us has our very own variant of what happens when there's an issue in the relationship. However, our version isn't indeed the only version. Hence, you ought to suspend your point of view incidentally and perceive the issue from your accomplice's perspective. Utilizing compassion by placing yourself in the other individual's shoes hones your listening abilities. Connecting to somebody's perspective (without assertion) expands your comprehension, lessens your reactivity, and diminishes affections for your accomplice. It uncovers your sympathy and raises your capacity to associate with your accomplice in a more profound, more loving way.

Do you get out of your comfort zone and have fun in the relationship?

A Harvard study, conducted over 75 years, found that you can have all the money in the world, though without loving relationships, you can never be happy. I was so pleased and excited to read what they had to say, and I found it quite fascinating for many reasons. It's not about the number of relationships you have, but rather the vulnerability of a quality relationship. If you sneak behind your personality's dread of dismissal and falter to discuss how you feel, you're going down the wrong way.

The backbone to a functional relationship incorporates making adventures, participating in new and exciting activities, and accomplishing something other than what's expected. It can be as basic as a romantic night out or as simple as telling jokes and acting silly in a cafe or park. Despite your style, you can make a friendly agreement with your partner that you won't let conflict to ruin your fun times, so it doesn't weaken the positive experiences.

* * *

A relationship develops when two individuals contribute time and consideration, be great communicators, show appreciation for one another's point of view, and have fun. Take a couple of minutes to reflect over what you could say yes to and have done differently to your current or next love interest relationship. The practice of mindfulness has been unveiled to result in higher relationship fulfillment, better acknowledgment, and closer connections.

Remember, keep spreading love and joy. You're irreplaceable. See you next week!

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle: Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay.

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.

Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying. What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense. I've heard it all, "He was cute, why didn't you like him?" "You didn't even give him a chance!" "You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous; however, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well. Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

THIS IS CRUCIAL FOR FINDING A NICE GUY. It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault. If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs." Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him. If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it. He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush. Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling. :)

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To James Headd Sr., A Simple, I Love You

Within a few years, you've left a major impact.


August 06, 2015 - Was our first physical encounter

June 13, 2019 - Was your physical last.

This day is truly a remarkable day , because from here on out -- today will mark the day that James Headd Sr. ( a father, husband, grandfather , pastor and friend ) will join his father in heaven.

Up until the age of 15 , I lived my life believing that God had blessed me with one amazing older sister and one annoyingly lovely younger brother.

At 15, On a solemn night I met for the first time ever, another older sister -- who had no previous knowings of her two younger siblings until that day.

We sat across from one another wide eyed and confused.

Questioning the obvious while spectating somber faces with rendered truths. How on earth did we get here?

That was the question at hand.

Above all, the task was not to question but to accept and progress , which is what we did.

From here on out me and my sister began to build a bond that only we could share. Often, we'd send massive texts to vent, calls to cry, snaps to laugh and meet-ups to chat and figure out new hairstyles she could try on me. At this point I wasn't just elated but I was grateful.

Grateful that God had placed someone in my life who is so seemingly similar to me it's sort of weird.

A few years later I met for the very first time "our" grandfather.

I remember the day like it was just yesterday. It was shortly before I left for college and I was super nervous to meet him. I had heard that he was a pastor and for some odd reason that made me more nervous than before. I asked my mother if she really believed that he'd like me and my younger brother and what was I to do if he didn't. She assured me that he was going to love us and it was with that, that we went into the cracker barrel restaurant with eager minds and high hopes.

From the minute he lay eyes on my brother and I , he delivered a smile that few can. A smile of pure happiness. He took us in a great big bear hug while his wife reflected a sweet and timid smile. We laughed over diets and food, talked career goals and college, and smiled over new found relationships.

He told us to make sure that we stayed in touch and to always know that he loved us.

From here on out, we managed contact via random phone calls , a group meet up and word of mouth through our big sister. The conversations were always the same.

" Hey Grandad -- It's me Makayla ! "

Oh Hi Makayla , You don't know how good it is to hear from you!"

"You know, us old folk always love it when young people call us just to check on us -- it lets us know you're thinking about us"

"I can't wait until we see each other again , you know I keep a picture of you guys sitting right here at the house and I tell everyone those are my beautiful grand kids" .. and so forth.

Although we rarely got many calls in through the course of the semester, it was the few that always made a lasting impact. After every call I'd call my grandmother to tell her how I talked to my grandfather and he was just so excited!

Today , my sister and I shared yet another lengthy video chat , but instead, this was one to celebrate you. Although your time here is up , your time above has just begun. I want to thank you for reaching out to me when you surely didn't have to. I want to thank you for accepting me and my younger brother and treating us like the grandchildren you would have known since our birth. Surely you have made a significant impact in the life of every one surrounding you including me. Never will I forget your selfless smile, hearty laugh and stern takes on life and God.

I will love you always , Makayla.

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