I'm not one for posting my issues, political views, opinions, etc. on the internet; however, the past few months an abnormal amount of controversy has been blessing us all. Whether it's presidential candidates, absurd celebrity Twitter accounts (yes, you Kanye), Starbucks cups, Target bathrooms or "Lemonade," everyone seems to have an issue or opinion. While I'm not at all against people standing their ground for what they believe, I have seen some rather, uh, interesting ways, to say the least, in which people are going about doing so. So I've decided to compose a list on how you should properly go about stating your opinion, especially when on social media for the public to see.
1. Be hypocritical.
Make sure you condemn someone for doing something one way or having a certain idea and then you do that exact same thing! I don't think there's ever been a time where I haven't truly taken someone seriously when they do the thing they're supposedly against, it is definitely a way to build a solid reputation.
2. Mock the opposing side, always.
Yes, you read it right. Everyone loves to be made fun of and told they're wrong, even more so in cases that involve an argument or debate. I mean really, when was the last time you didn't just enjoy being told you're views and opinions were dumb? I sure can't think of one!
3. Make things up to work in your favor, aka lie.
What's the saying? Lie and no one will cry? Sounds about right! If it helps you prove a point, then by golly of course you should make something up! This won't effect your credibility in the slightest.
4. Tell the opposing side that they are wrong.
No one ever has an issue being told that their opinions, feelings, views, or values are wrong. Why would they? Of course they want to hear that, keep up the good work, belittling other people is always a great go-to.
5. Don't have any facts or prior knowledge on your argument.
Who needs information, am I right? People only want your opinions, not the real life facts. Besides that's all that actually matters, how you feel and not the truth that says otherwise.
6. Get in massive quarrels on social media about your issues.
Yes! Do it! No not once, but seven times. Everyone wants to know how much you despise Bernie Sanders or think sexual predators are going to stop because of a sign on a door, and to top it off, everyone wants to see you attack other people about it, over and over again. This always works and it always solves the problem.
7. Use the phrase "no offense" right before ripping someone to shreds.
It lightens the blow, it really does. And the other person obviously knows you don't really mean what you're saying, duh.
8. Be very angry and worked up.
It's definitely proven that people respond extremely well when they're getting yelled at or dealing with mass forms of aggression. Yell, scream, spit, throw a fit — it will work, trust me!
I'm sure I just saved you all from a bundle of embarrassment. Stating your view is, of course, a tricky practice, but with this list, you're sure to not come across an unintelligent, raging idiot. You're welcome and good luck!
