The problem with "modern-day breakups" is that we don't break up. All too often there is not a clean, "I want to break up" discussion. We do things like ghost the other, take a break, or break up yet still get together.
Solid breakups are not very common and that's a problem. I know there are exceptions to each of these things but as a general rule, ghosting, taking a break, and "fake break-ups" are not healthy things to do.
Ghosting
The problem with ghosting is that it's just straight up mean. If you don't know what this term means, it's basically when you stop all communication with another person without any explanation. The solution to ghosting is to just be intentional, up front, and honest. These things seem so simple yet are somehow so difficult sometimes. Have enough respect for the other person to be honest and just tell them you don't see it going anywhere. I don't support lying but in my opinion, lying about why you don't want to be with them at least gives the other person a reason and they don't have to sit and always wonder.
Taking a Break
Taking a break is a commonly heard term nowadays as well. "We didn't break up. We're just on a break." Issues can arise in this when it comes to cheating. We've all heard whether in real life or on some show, "We were on a break!" So is it cheating if you get with someone else while on this so-called break? In my opinion, either you're together or you're not, there shouldn't even be the term "breaks." It's okay to break up and get together again...to a point. But if you're apart, call it what it is—a breakup.
Breaking Up Yet Still Together
This is extremely common. "Fake break ups." You and your significant other are broken up but not really. Maybe you're still calling each other every night. Maybe you're still together physically. Maybe you're doing literally everything you were when you were in a relationship but are not longer labeled as such.
This is a dangerous game to play! By breaking up yet still being together you are not allowing yourself to move on from the other. I know it's easy to hold onto tiny strings of hope in a relationship but sometimes you've just got to cut the cord and call it quits. Completely.
We do things like ghost, take breaks, and "fake break up" because breaking up isn't easy. Hurting another person or yourself is not fun. But ghosting hurts the other person because they are left to wonder what they did wrong. Taking a break and breaking up yet still getting together hurt because lines are blurred. You may start to question your worth with the other person and that is not something you should ever have to question. You don't need to be enemies with the other person, but I encourage you, if you are going to break up, do it completely.
