Every college student feels the burden of finals week. It's the last week of every semester where an exam looms over every day like a dark cloud in the distance. It is notorious for coffee runs, and small amounts of sleep caught in between study sessions. For the average college student, the stress is generally manageable. Sure they're sleep deprived and living on caffeine, but the level of stress is generally manageable. For people with mental illnesses, finals week spells out a new kind of hell.
I was diagnosed with depression my freshmen year of college, although I do believe I suffered from it for many years before that, and my life has been a whirlwind ever since. I refuse to use my illness as an excuse for not getting things done in a timely manner, but there are some days where normal life is too much, and I find myself drowning in stress. Finals week for me is dreaded for weeks beforehand. I always tell myself that I will not get behind, and I will not allow the assignments to get the best of me. I always try my best to do just that, but every year it seems like more and more work pours in and I'm left at a loss on how to keep up.
Living with depression is testy. There are some days where life feels completely normal, and I get up and get ready without any problems at all. But there are other days where classes seem daunting, and getting out of bed and participating in life is just seems completely impossible. It is not that I don't want to do the work, but there is something inside me that tells me that it's too hard, that I can't do it. I feel like there is so much work that it is not possible for me to get it all done, so I sit on my floor and cry trying to figure out what I'm going to do. The increased amount of work that takes place during finals week has me a complete mess for the majority of the week.
The problem with finals week for those who suffer from a mental illness is that most college campuses and professors do not seem to really understand the struggle that goes on in our minds. Many professors look at our inability to come to class as a lack of motivation. I have motivation, what I do not have is the mental capacity to muddle through. Most universities claim that they take to heart those of us who suffer from depression and/or anxiety, but the reality of it is that they have a counseling center and maybe even a mental health week in the commons or dining hall, but they do not actually take into account the real people who are trying to overcome these problems.
I am not saying that we should be given special privileges or extended deadlines due to our illness, but all we ask for is a little bit of understanding. We are trying our very best to keep up and to pass our classes, just like everybody else, but unlike everybody else we have a chemical imbalance in our brains that prevents us from being as proactive about assignments as we would like to be. We are trying. All we ask for is your patience and understanding. Everybody has their demons, please be patient with us as we try and fight our own.
